Clean Your Own Mirror

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20 questions for McCrae

You didn't have any pre-show interviews other than Jeff's for CBS so most assumed you were an alternate. If so, did you realize you were an alternate or were you treated like you would be on the show throughout the pre-show process?

I knew I was an alternate and always thought I would never be on the show. It was probably two days before entering the house, everyone always said that I should have hope for being on the show but I never had any hope.

Amanda said in pre-interviews she'd use her boobies, her sexuality, and her "itty bitty bikinis and bedroom eyes" to win BB. Did you think she was playing you?

Throughout the show I always thought Amanda was playing me but I don't think she ever knew the game enough to actually play me. I was always worried about Aaryn and Amanda trying to get me out of the game but I think that Amanda was always playing for me once I got her into my web...

When did you first find out about all the scandals?

I first found out about all the scandals when Julie asked the racism question to Spencer. I was blown away but knew it was going to be this bad. A lot of people said stuff in the house that I was always like WTF are you guys doing? No one else knew about the repercusions outside the house that I was always aware of. I think I kept clean a lot because I was always very cautious about what I said.

Do you know if Aaryn, Amanda, GinaMarie, Spencer, etc got debriefings before the backyard interviews? If so, do you know how that come about?

Me and the rest of the others had a debrief that was geared more towards us coming out of the house clean. They said that a lot of people were upset this season and we would be fielding a lot of questions about it. When I looked around the room I saw that Amanda, Spencer, GM, and Aaryn were not a part of our debrief so I knew that they were in for a shit storm.

What's it like going in as the pizza/podcast guy and coming out to find so many fans and haters? Has anyone you knew before treated you differently? By the way, you've passed me in Twitter followers now, but I had to work for mine.. zing?

LOL sorry Dingo. This whole fans thing is weird. Just today I was accosted at my local grocery market, everyone seems to know who I am in my small town and it's overwhelming. I can't get out of the liquor store parking lot without a lot of people saying hi. It's fun but it's going to be tough to always be the nice guy. I'm still in shock right now about all these fans. It doesn't make sense to me still.

There were a lot of rumors about Rachel's party that certain houseguests would be banned from attending. Did you get an invite?

I don't know who was banned from attending and I didn't get an invite but people told me I did. Those days were a blur to me. Rachel is someone I think I could really be friends with and I am just really scared about the way they took anything I said. All the time I am afraid I am going to get my ass kicked at these kind of events because I figured the Brenchel army hates me.

As a hardcore feedster, how much were you thinking about us watching your every move in there? Not just the slurpydurp with Amanda (but I laughed whenever you used that word!) Also, you knew better than to keep singing or whispering. Why would you whisper when there was no need, like at 4am in the hammock?

I was always thinking about the feedsters and I feel really bad about sleeping all the time. That was a huge concern for me. I remember telling Amanda how dumb it was to whisper while someone is talking at full volume. The paranoia runs high in the Big Brother house and I was always worried someone could hear me. The whispering is really dumb but it was the only way to make sure no one could hear you. Sorry everyone but I wasn't thinking about the feedsters. There is so many microphones around you, just figure everyone would hear everything. The singing is my own fault. I love singing at home and once you get bored in there and something springs to your mind you can't help but sing. I always felt bad when I would get called out but sometimes you just get so wrapped up in the life of BB that you forget everyone that's watching (see dick slip).

On that same theme, why did you lay around so much? Sorry for the lack of ups, but you know you have to earn them.. you did in the beginning.

I totally understand. Laying around was actually so much fun for me. I loved bullshitting with Amanda in bed and it was one of the things that made time pass by so fast. Everyone would bitch about being so bored in the house and I never had that problem because I was always BSing with Amanda. I knew you guys would be pissed but me always running around the house would have been detrimental to my game. Andy and Judd could always take notes on every room in the house and report back to us... that did come to bite me in the ass though. The laying around was for my own sanity's sake, bummed that you guys all had to watch it though.

You and Amanda had a BB wedding in the lounge, and then you had another one with all the trimmings, which caught some flak for copycatting the Brenchel trashbag wedding. Whose idea was it to have a big formal wedding even though you were already BB married? Did Diary push that?

No Diary push but it was my own devising. I knew about trashbag wedding of course but I always thought it could actually be a really good game move if Amanda would become friends with the girls by doing it. It was my idea and I got it from Rachel, but I thought we could inject some strategy into it and it could help us in the future... plus we could always get divorced for more strategy action.

What exactly happened at your birthday party? They went to fishies for Happy Birthday song of course, but we also missed most of what Elissa did that night - flipping off cameras and ragging on producers?

Elissa was talking shit about producers (naming them all off and talking about how she hated each one of them) and just being a jerk to Amanda. She flipped off a camera which is not in her nature and was being a real prick. I love her to death but that night pissed me off. I demanded Amanda apologize but Elissa should have been the one to apologize. It was a frustrating two days.

Why didn't you go to GinaMarie after learning about the Exterminators and convince her you'd take her to the end? You kind of ended up being the Britney of this season.. do you see it that way?

I totally felt like the Britney of this season. I had deals with GM at the end of the game but upon hearing about the Exterminators I figured I couldn't do anything. I think about it every night, what I would say to her, but GM is a character. She wouldn't have gone against such a solid alliance. I guess I could have tried but she is so fiercely loyal. I don't think she would have went with me.

Elissa told people she was MVP all three weeks she was, but did you ever question Diary about it? Meaning did you ask them to confirm or any other questioning about it, those weeks or the public vote weeks? She could have been lying. Would they say "you are not MVP" if you guys asked them directly?

Me and Amanda would always go into DR with hopes of MVP and they would say you are not MVP. The only time I questioned DR was when the 4th week happened and I asked if you could nominate yourself for MVP. Then I was on the train that Elissa nominated herself because they said you could do that.

Week 2 was especially sketchy when you suddenly changed your target from Elissa to Nick. You came out of a long Diary session with an entirely different demeanor, and proceeded to work on convincing Amanda. You said "This'll be the funnest fucking thing ever.. there's gonna be blood on my hands" and "this is going to be awesome - it's why I'm going home but it'll make good tv." What was up with all that? Did they promise you a car or what?

LOL DR only convinced me when they kinda talked about "it's a big week" and that "it's kind of between Amanda and Moving Company." I knew Moving Company was after Amanda and there was a point where I hated Moving Company. I came out of Diary knowing that I wanted Amanda there and I can see where it seemed like Diary had influence. I don't think Diary ever influenced much ever. They did ask me about when I put up Elissa and how it doesn't make sense, and I was like are you in the same game I am?

Also shady, the next week you all decided Elissa would put up Howard as MVP nominee. I know you had to do some dancing there since you were pretending to be MVP (and made me part of BB strategy in a huge WTF/LOL), but Elissa also scrambled oddly there. She fumbled after the fact whether she was the MVP or not, and she also fumbled her explanations for putting up Spencer instead of Howard. This was the week CBS addressed Bigotgate and added a disclaimer to the show and the feeds. Do you have any insight you can share about how all that went down?

In my eyes, Elissa loved Howard and Howard had the religious thing about him. I think this is the reason she didn't put him up. Same with Helen that week. I don't think it was DR influence but I think Elissa had a connection that I didn't have. But I could see DR being like "Isn't Howard an ally? Why wouldn't you keep him?" just like they did with me week one. I don't think DR influences but I think the stuff they say gets you paranoid. I don't think it's the influence that everyone else thinks.

Do you think going along with the vote to evict Judd (the first time) worked against you?

I think going with the vote was smart but I think evicting Judd was a mistake. He came back and was not going to work with me. I loved Judd and losing him in the game made me think I had no chance to win the game without him.

Who would you have targeted next, if you had voted out Andy instead of Aaryn? Do you think GinaMarie would have still targeted Amanda?

I think GM would have gone after Amanda for sure. I'm still not sure about Aaryn, she always scared me so much in the game. I always kinda wanted Andy out his week but did we have the votes? I think that Aaryn had a really good game that almost kept her in the game, but I had no idea Andy was working against me.

Julie told you all when you were lined up to move in that the season would be 90 days. I know adrenalin was running high, but how did you and everyone else miss that?

People talked about it but I never really thought about it. Those things I did with Julie were just blurs. I don't remember anyone's faces or anything. I think Nick remembered the 90 day thing because he said he would kiss GM after 90 days.

This year we saw fewer "real" Diaries on the air shows than ever. How much of your time in there was emotional unloading or sounding board sessions, and how much was just retelling comps and convos for the air shows?

I think my place on the show was "BB Historian" so the majority of my DR was telling about comps or about the past or stuff like that. Whenever I was pissed about Elissa or stuff, I could vent but I felt like they wouldn't use anything that I said about Elissa. Andy and Amanda were the funny DRs from how they were portrayed. My role was always historian/nice guy.

You got a lot of flak for not defending Amanda in her fight with GinaMarie, and Judd was the one who jumped up to make sure they didn't come to blows. You sat back for all of Amanda's earlier fights too, but your relationship had developed a lot by then, which might be why your non-action surprised some, including her. Any thoughts on that?

You know, I always knew Amanda was looking for a fight during this one. My whole goal was to stay out of stuff, and at that point I didn't care that Amanda was fighting because it made me look better (little did I know I was a target). I was never going to jump into a fight just to defend honor. Call me king pussy but it just didn't make sense to me. I was here to play BB (although I was laying down the whole time) and I wouldn't make myself look bad just to defend a girl I liked, especially when I knew Amanda was just stirring shit up. Being with Amanda never meant that I wanted to get wrapped up in all her shit. I just always wanted her as a shield. She seemed like a good player from how little she knew about the game and I thought she was so smart that she would always be an asset to myself.

Thank you so much for all your shoutouts all season! They always made my day, and the ones that CBS let go out on the live show blew me away! Did you get in trouble for any of those?

No trouble for the shoutouts, just a lot of shit from the producers, and Dr. Will said something about "Hamstermarch" that makes me laugh out loud when I think about it. No trouble, it always just came from a place of love and respect. I think every year I tell you how much you mean to me and how your commentary is some of the best writing I've ever read. I'm just so excited to see what you write about me. Even if it's bad I wouldn't have it any other way.