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Pray for Tilly

Almost there (Tuesday 9/17)

How to pick a winner

I've always maintained it doesn't matter a bit who gets the money unless you're a second cousin or better, but some Hamsterwatchers seem to care who wins, so I once again present the following for your rooting enjoyment.. after all, feedsters are more qualified to make a selection than the bitter jurors - we don't see any relevant Diary footage anymore since they record pro & con versions of everything now and they don't air any of the meaty stuff, but we've seen far more than the jury so they too need to use one of these methods:

Played the best game
This is the popular, politically correct method that everyone claims to use, but nobody really does.. Andy probably has the edge here but Spencer's unusual 'pawn me' strategy worked out well for him.. even GinaMarie's game was pretty good, whether you want to admit it or not: she lost one set of teamies after another and she won brutal comps when she had to.. all three played fluid 'floater' games effectively, moving between alliances all along without anyone catching on - that's harder to pull off than it sounds.. but nearly every 'game' falls into one of the other categories so don't feel pressured to root for any of these through some misguided urge to be PC

Lied the best/most
All three are on nearly equal footing here with their ongoing alliance lies, but this one's a little squirrely as it crosses over into ethical/unethical territory, and that leads to arguments about politics and/or religion, and that leads to flame wars every time.. BB2/7 Dr. Will is the exception here: he won by skirting the moral issues and flat-out lied about everything except the fact that he was lying, and he was light years more fun & charming about it than anyone on this season

Needs the money most
Please! We all 'need' a half million dollars! Anyone who goes on a tv show to pay their Visa bill or because they can't scrape together the next car payment should consider credit counseling, bankruptcy, gambling, or steady employment - we're all sick of the sob stories

Cutest/sexiest/dreamiest
Generally a favorite method for feedsters, but more jury members are closet cutest-sexiest-dreamiest voters than they'll admit.. still, this one probably won't be a big factor this time

Smartest player
A favorite for feedsters and jury alike, it's what most really mean when they say 'best game' - basically it means 'smarter than me' - but given the fact that we're dealing with people who've spent three months pooping on tv, being humiliated for our enjoyment, and making their friends & families ashamed to claim them, most hamsters are eliminated from this category when they complete their BB application

Played like I would
The big daddy for feedsters who haven't caught on that everyone's different and everyone does different things for different reasons.. it's the most popular judging criteria and the dumbest: they aren't you, they haven't seen everything you've seen, and until you're in there for three months of paranoia, daily slander, and Diary messing up your better judgment, you can't possibly know what you'd do in there.. get over it

Backstabbing revenge
One of the elimination categories, this one's about rooting for anyone except the player who took out your favorite (or yourself, if on the jury).. this one usually decides the winner.. in gamespeak it's also known as 'nothing personal'

Creeped me out
Another elimination category and a big one for seasons like this one, this is rooting for anyone except the player who gives you the willies or reminds you of your ex.. more popular among feedsters than the jury, which is odd: they're the ones who lived with the creepies - we can shut 'em off.. feel free to cite this one if you need an excuse to abstain from voting

I just like him or her
Hands-down easiest method because it requires no reasons or explanations, making it the best category to avoid involvement in flame wars.. however, this season is an exception: you will be expected to back it up with something else in most BB chats, boards, and global social media outlets

Deserves to win
This really means you don't know or don't care and are probably just afraid of getting involved in a flame war.. back it up with something or shift over to 'I just like him or her'.. however, take note of the above exclusion this season or prepare to be flamed - if you prefer to stay flame-free, just keep quiet

Most entertaining
A personal favorite, but this season most of the entertainment came in the form of fights, sex, and sheer shock over things that were said.. GinaMarie would be the favorite here thanks in large part to her ever-changing hair situation plus her unique & creative vocabulary.. Andy & Spencer both attempted ongoing humorous patter, often successfully, but both went into reruns sometime in August

Played with integrity
This is a nice pipe dream for optimists and romantics, but not much more: in reality tv, the good tend to die young

I hate them all equally
Most feedsters end up here sooner or later.. sooner this year for many

On it goes (Sunday 9/15)

Still exterminating (Saturday 9/14)

Champagne wishes (Friday 9/13)

Ratings - They Shoot Hamsters, Don't They? edition

To follow
Won: $94.83 WON PART 2 Two HOHs, two vetos Target for some of Aaryn's & Amanda's Bigotgate comments, loud Elissa bashing, much prior seasons' cast bashing, excessive popping into convos, excessive holding of things	Won: 48 hr cone of shame, 24 hr shackled to McCrae WON PART 1 Two HOHs, zero vetos N-word plus additional ethnic slurs, Nick obsession, loud Candice & Elissa bashing, frequent fight participant, frequent injuries, bizarrely fascinating & ever-changing hair, excessive pinkyswearing
Won: $10,000, Bahamas trip, 24 hr megaphone, 48 36 hr chicken One HOH, one veto Extremely poor taste jokes, misogynist humor, excessive movie chat plus creepy Saw voice, ruining butterscotch pudding for life, excessive and futile Elisabeth Shue begging	Won: $5,000, 24 hr shackled to GinaMarie He's the first hardcore feedster we've had in there, and the first regular from Hamsterwatch chat! Seeing his name was a shocker but a nice one when the cast was revealed. Then he proceeded to make one newbie mistake after another, from winning the first HOH to getting sucked into a showmance, but surprisingly neither of those hurt him as much as they should, nor did being a member of the early doomed Moving Company. Unfortunately he laid around with Amanda for nearly the whole season rather than entertaining us as he promised in the first days, but maybe they'll live happy ever after, so who are we to question? He was a fun hamster when he was upright, a good sport most of the time, and he was liked by most in there and many out here (without his other half anyway). He didn't notice the Exterminators had taken over and he went out just after reaching the tiny table milestone. Thanks to McCrae, it was delivery and DiGiorno's, and he'll be remembered for creative bandanas, Olson family Christmas stories, 'nyeeah' & 'I dunno', plus sections in my Extracurricular Tally and Attwx.com's BB15 page. I'm proud to call him my pal. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to make my day and annoy others with Hamsterwatch shoutouts. -Check
Won: $5,000, 24 hour solitary, revival, 48 36 hr chicken, 24 hr exercises He was one of the most liked and funniest hamsters we've had in ages and his first eviction blindsided us as much as him. He seemed to be in over his head after his revival but he lasted longer than many returnees, and his Slutty Chicken was a treat. Amanda's paranoia about MVP did him in the first time, along with his own real and fake alliances, plus Helen realizing that he was on to her. J-U-Double-D Party Daugherty will be fondly remembered for becoming King Judd with his HOH, his quick wit and constant one-liners, his lucky bear shirt, and his distinctive way of speaking. He was one of two Hamsterwatchers on the same season which was beyond cool for me, but his first eviction was the reality equivalent of the Red Wedding. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to be a sleeper fan favorite: hated at first, loved later -Maybe not so hated except by those who needed a decoder ring, but definitely loved later	Won: Sit out 1 veto comp She came in as the only casting twist but proved that she's nothing like her sister, as she was mostly unemotional and robotic. Her extensions weren't as bad as some but they landed her in #Deathrace2013 a few times anyway, and a few more times for her peculiar eyelash situation. She often made it seem like she was above it all as she talked about her wonderful life, and she was barely on the show until Helen left. Then she stepped it up and won a couple serious comps, including a Rachel-esque OTEV and a miracle save on the baseball wall. She'll be remembered for doing her yoga, including random bendy in the middle of serious convos and Candice's house meeting, her odd cadence when speaking, and for doing a classic spit-take when being harassed by Amanda. Mmm-hmmm. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to duckface in HOH and/or photo booth pics, and most likely to outlast her shelf life. -Check and check - the first is fact, the second is just my opinion
Won: 50 shades of orange She played a good game but got got by the underdogs she'd overlooked. She was loud, volatile, and shared way TMI at every opportunity, but she also brought humor and was able to laugh at herself. Sometimes. She sucked McCrae's head right out of the game but also served as a shield for him with her mouthy attitude, and she featured in most of the fights, fake rumors out here, and sex events. Most of her explosions were when she was perfectly safe, and she was often the epitome of a sore loser. She won them over one by one with brilliant people skills but then lost them with lousy social skills, and she might want to look into anger management and/or meds adjustment after this. She was extra paranoid and lousy at comps but she got spray-oranged, BB engaged, and BB married twice. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely be Diary's favorite. -Check	Won: Nothing She was Bigotgate's poster girl as it spread as far as USA Today, NY Times and international news outlets. Flipping Candice's bed didn't help, nor did her continual denial of having said anything wrong. The fact that Howard & Helen were evicted under her HOHs didn't help her rep, but they were as much game-related group decisions as they were personal. She lost most of her teamies early but she rallied and stuck til jury, largely due to winning four HOHs, making that record a six-way tie, as well as Amanda winning her over to do her dirty work. She had a fit about having her hat sat on, she drank nail polish remover, was a #Deathrace2013 contender for both roots & extensions, and her friend Clownie had a dedicated overnight feed many nights along with five suicide attempts. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to give mirror-face, most likely to waste away on slop, and most likely to either be booted early for no reason, or go to finals against someone they all hate and win -Fail on all counts, but I don't think anyone expected what we got
Won: 2 night curfew, BBQ party She started out okay but once she won HOH, she got a raging case of HOHitis that never cleared up. Her political background helped her manipulate them but she played it too heavy, and that was her undoing with both hamsters and feedsters. She learned about teabagging and dental dams this summer, but someone needs to tell her dentists use them too. She held nail parties, orchestrated activities, cried way too many fake tears and a few real ones, reminded everyone she's a mom more than BB9 Sheila Kennedy, and she overused 'I love you' like a teenage boy trying to get laid. #STFUHelen became a thing on Twitter for a few weeks, and it even trended on her eviction show. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to talk too much and too long. -Check and double-check	Won: Nothing She was a non-entity for most of the season other than crying over Helen's BBQ party (then going anyway) plus a knockdown drag-out with Amanda, until she got wind she was about to be evicted. Then she revved up Tropical Storm Jessie and swore she'd turn them all against each other after she left. That was fun for an afternoon and would have made her one of the most memorable hamsters of all time if she'd kept it up but alas, she fizzled, apologized, and will fade into obscurity with so many others. She had the reputation of being a man-izer but most of that happened before the feeds, and all we got was a 2-day sHOwmance with Judd. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to find herself without an alliance. -Check, repeatedly
Won: $5,000, 1 week clown suit She laid around with Howard until he left, and then she mostly laid around by herself. She still managed to figure in many of the fights, including one during the veto comp and one during her own eviction. I think a lot of their problems with her started before the feeds did, but it's fair to say she egged it on as well. She'll be remembered for tragic life stories, being the Mad Hatter sitting on hats (or not), Keepin' It Real With Candie, her crab shack story, meeting Julie in a clownitard, and the #BlameCandice hashtag game. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to say she's there 'for the experience' -I don't know if she said that much or not	Won: Nothing He was eloquent and animated in Diary but we didn't get that guy on the feeds. Instead he mostly laid around with Candice, held Bible study in the coach seats, and prayed in the photo booth. He isolated Candice and himself, killing both of their games, and their combined lack of awareness foiled any chance for his 11th hour save plan to succeed. He gave sudden speeches that few understood, but he wore Candice's tassel earrings and Judd's crown equally well. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to parannoy, eventually -Fail - others freaked out for no reason more than he did
Won: Nothing She was a caboose for the mean girl train and when she wasn't straddling Jeremy, she was laying around making out with him, including in her bestie's HOH bed whenever Aaryn stepped away. She took being widowed better than GinaMarie, but she had several days to prepare for it and seemed almost proud of making 'Big Brother history' by using her veto. Otherwise she brought eyebrow adventures, and apologies when she mouthed off, which is more than some. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to be intimidated, taken advantage of, and blindsided -Fail, although Jeremy's eviction did blindside her.. taken advantage of is subjective	Won: Permanent Have-not pass He claimed 1/16 Cherokee but he besmirched that heritage regularly, along with many others. He caused and starred in the big Winegate fight, smooched with Kaitlin while laying his hand on Aaryn's leg, wore a diaper, and mistakenly boasted he'd win every comp. He was a boy in a man's body, but his tattoos were nicer looking than most heavily tatted hamsters' have been. He'll be most remembered for being the asshat of BB15. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to get in a fight -Check
Won: Nothing He came in saying he hoped for stardom but it probably won't happen as a result of this show. Overnighters got to know his blue hoodie & cap well, and he was usually the last one to go to bed. That's usually good strategy but it didn't help him. The over-the-top character he played in pre-season interviews gave him a rough start with most, but he didn't stick long enough for us (me anyway) to get to know what he's really about. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to namedrop and be generally annoying -Subjective, but I'll take it	Won: Nothing He didn't bring much to the feeds and he seemed oblivious about how the show works, but those types are the ones who get blindsided and we always like to see that. The Aaryn & David Comedy Show was fun for a minute but all the controversy she fed took the fun out of that, so it's just as well he got gone early. Back to the beach and watching BB on the couch with mom. My pre-season prediction: -Most likely to climb on stuff and be told 'Stop that!' -Check, first night of feeds