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Salmonella watch (Sunday 9/2)

BBQ Smackdown Round 1: The Hisser

Dan's still alive (Saturday 9/1)

Ratings - Future Shock special edition

Just prior to season 15 All-Stars Again, host Julie Chen discovered those feeds she's always hawking had been riddled with FOTH, trivia and fishies for over a decade rather than the '24/7' 'uncensored' 'everything' she'd been reading off her cards all that time. She demanded her husband cancel the show immediately, which of course he did. Julie took 'The Talk' to primetime three times a week, and most of the BB staff went to work for ABC's 'The Glass House', which became a runaway summer hit thanks to its fresh ideas, top-notch casting, respect for its fans, and hefty booze deliveries. Big Brother's former big sister Allison Grodner lived in her car and collected unemployment for 18 months before reuniting with former partner Arnold Shapiro, and the two of them went back to Shapiro's roots, co-producing 'Scared Straight: Prison Hamsters'. Its ratings never rose out of last place, but the Big Brother franchise continued to provide fresh meat and mug shots to keep it going, thanks to their stellar formula of casting past, present, and future jailbirds on the show.
TEAMIES: Kara, Danielle, Jodi WON: Sushi party, 24 hour disco HOLDS VETO After his book 'How to Get on Reality TV' became a New York Times best seller, he went on to mastermind the latest hot trend of everyone webcasting everything to everyone to solve the global problem of having more reality stars than reality shows. Later he penned a memoir entitled 'Everybody's a Star, Including Me', a sequel called 'Secrets of the Mist: Do As I Say, Not As I Do', and retired in Tehachapi, CA with wife Chelsea and their 17 children. Rumors have surfaced that he's recently started a religious cult, but his hordes of faithful followers will neither confirm nor deny.	TEAM DAN WON: 24 hour shackles After BB14 wrapped, she was torn over which of her various career paths she should pursue. After a short stint combining nursing, modeling, and kindergarten teaching, she decided to start fresh and follow the lead of her life coach Dan and write books. Her first, entitled 'Mirror Posing 101' (with special foreword by Jase Wirey), was something of a flop, but she was not deterred. She went on to write the Nobel Prize winning 'It's Healthier To Be Fat Than Not Be Fat And Continually Ask If You Are' which, combined with her semi-successful speaking engagements in and around Tuscaloosa, enabled her to become an often-quoted inspiration to cat ladies everywhere.
TEAM BOOGIE WON: $3,341.49, 1 week spiritard, 1 week carrot, 24 hour chum showers NOMINATED After Big Brother, he returned home to discover 'The Howdy Eudy Show' had been picked up by The History Channel and was already in pre-production. Frank signed on and served as the show's narrator and carrot-suited sidekick to his famous dad, outspoken mom, and towering little brother Gunnar. The show was an instant hit, and grew even more popular in its second season with the addition of a weekly segment featuring Ricky Gervais in a revival of 'When The Whistle Blows'.	TEAM BOOGIE WON: $4k, 24 hour dog's life, veto HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD After easily winning Big Brother 14 and Big Brother 15 All-Stars Again, he retired from reality tv to continue his studies in thermodynamics and related brainy subjects, and he discovered three new elements that were added to the Periodic Table (Socashium, Clutchium, and ComediumAu). After winning seven Nobel Prizes (two of them the same year Danielle was honored), he became something of a recluse who's rarely seen or heard from, other than a monthly 'The Art of Hammocking' pamphlet that's distributed via underground channels to those in the know.
TEAM BOOGIE WON: $1k, Hawaii trip NOMINATED Upon leaving the Big Brother hamster habitat, she discovered her bandmates had moved on to bigger and better things rather than sit around waiting for her to finish her tv show. She attempted a revival of several former bands but those attempts failed since she went on BB14 to promote her music career but didn't, and nobody knew who she was. She designed and launched a line of black hoodies called ALWAYS UP! but it failed when Joan Rivers, Tyra Banks, and Martha Stewart joined forces to have them banned. She was last seen wandering around Staten Island muttering something about 'slop for nothing' and 'but I won the veto'.	TEAM JANELLE WON: 24 hour hula hoop Since the spectacular failure of his madlovecooking.tv website and associated YouTube channel, Joe went door to door in Hollywood looking for an agent who'd be able to get his cooking show on tv. As everyone now knows, the closest he got was a stint on Gordon Ramsay's 'Hell's Kitchen'. Fortunately Mr Ramsay hired Dan Gheesling as a character witness for his trial, and the jury was misted into acquitting him for pummelling Joe into a bloody pulp on the show. Joe was last seen at a roadside diner on I-80 where his specialty AVOCADO GRIDDLECAKES is a favorite of one trucker who stops by twice a month.
TEAM BRITNEY WON: Veto ticket Despite being courted by gay fitness magazines and the Hair Club for Men, Shane returned to Vermont where he continues delivering beer and wine for minimum wage. He attempted one more house flip for the TLC show 'Property Ladder' but it never aired because host Kirsten Kemp couldn't stop laughing long enough about his $784,000 loss to tape the end-of-show recap segment. Diehard fans and pranksters continue trying to track down Shane to ask about his relationship with Danielle and the possibilities of a future together, but the witness protection program he's enrolled in prevents him from answering.	TEAMIES: Shane, Willie, JoJo WON: 1 week safety, 24 hour shackles She gamed way too hard as a coach and as a player, but she contributed to Willie's pork rind tantrum so kudos for that. She didn't bring as much comedy as she's capable of but when she did, it was hilarious, including early late nights with Janelle and her stellar pre-eviction drunk. It's a shame we didn't get a second season of Just The Tip and that she repeated some of her same mistakes, but she was fun to see again and she'll definitely be missed.
TEAM JANELLE - WON: Nothing She was ditzy and kooky, and didn't seem like she knew what show she was on most of the time (which fits, since she landed here after being rejected from a dating show). She had back problems that looked legit, and worked in her favor more than once. She brought a kitty-cat sleep mask, creative counting methods, unicorns and dreamboard strategy, and while she seems like a nice enough girl who would have been a hit in 1967, her monotone voice won't be missed.	TEAMIES: Frank, Ian, Jenn - WON: $16k He started a bit better this time but degenerated to his old self. His friends in production couldn't save him this time around and he got got. His team survived him but only Frank stuck with him til the end, even though Boogie went for cash rather than working to help him. I'm very relieved to see the back of him for a third and hopefully last time, and I only wish we had a feed for when Dr. Will smacks him upside the head.
TEAM JANELLE - WON: $5,000 He came in with the most entertainment potential we've seen in awhile but other than a few spectacular bursts such as his drunken sushi birthday, he failed to deliver on a regular basis. His Sharon Osbourne was spot-on and so was his Joe, but his quick wit wasn't enough to combat the overall doldrums of the season. He fiddled his hair constantly (like Kaysar), and he pinkyswore Janelle out the door. He starred in two of the three 'The Soup' segments to date, and he'll be missed.	TEAMIES: Wil, Ashley, Joe WON: nothing She was the first coach casualty but she went quietly, robbing us of an updated 'bye-bye bitches'. She didn't have a Howie or Kaysar to work with (or entertain us) this time, and her teamies either didn't know or didn't care how loyally she plays BB. She had some sippy fun but this cast didn't get her shtick, and she had pork rinds thrown at her and mean girl chatter reminiscent of BB6. She drove the early game but didn't play in any veto comps, and that was a huge loss for the season.
TEAM BRITNEY - WON: nothing She promised to bring it, but apparently she left it on Staten Island since she failed to fight even when confronted. She talked a lot but it was mostly the same loops over and over: she only gets along with East Coast girls, she's street-smart, she's loyal, and she's loyal, know what I mean? She was scouted via Facebook to get here, and that's where she should have stayed. Now she can get back to modeling and piloxing.	TEAM BRITNEY - WON: nothing (Possibly forfeited stipend) He spent two weeks laying in HOH bed, parannoying his brains out even though he was perfectly safe, and his fall from HOH was the hardest we've ever seen. He head-butted himself out the door when he might have been saved by veto, so he'll go into the BB blunders pile. I didn't come in with Hantzophobia so I'm grateful for the cheap entertainment he brought, especially the Froot Loops war and Willieisms like 'key-hos', 'corn-ho', and 'totin' pole'. He's the first hamster to pose for his mug shot while his season was still underway.
TEAM DAN - WON: nothing She brought a big name and rep to the show but didn't live up to either. She seemed like a nice enough girl but she didn't bring much to the feeds, and her sister wife wardrobe greatly disappointed her pre-existing fanbase. She'll be remembered for extra shiny knees and little else - she didn't even campaign to stay.	TEAM DAN, for a minute - WON: nothing Most were looking forward to seeing what she'd bring, but she got a raw deal and was gone before the feeds even kicked on. She'd said she was worried about lack of privacy & sleep, missing her family, and slop, so maybe BB wasn't for her, and she got away without airing any dirty laundry. It had to be humiliating to go back in for the group bikini pic but that's how they do things.