Big Brother 9 that dingo's
I don't care who wins, I'm just here for the cheap entertainment.. the cheaper, the better    

April 26, 2008 - Day 79 (or 80)

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The BB9 live feeds replay is underway! Only on SuperPass - click for a two-week FREE trial
Watch the season in its entirety or catch what you missed
Use the Hamsterwatch Daily Index to see what's coming up
April 26 = February 18: Lesbian alliance resurfaces (did Diary revive it?); Fight night fallout; Alex's talk show

>> Ryan is Head of Household, for what it's worth <<

Truth (and proof) in snippets

Sometimes the most interesting stuff comes out when you least expect it.. in this case, Adam & Ryan laying around counting down their time til freedom confirmed a couple things I'd suspected: the first about the whole putting on a show for Showtime situation (something we've had confirmation about before, but it's always nice to get more), and the other indicating that Diary/CBS were indeed the ones pushing the whole "Team Christ" moniker.. I've suspected that they also "urged" Natalie's excessive religious zeal, as it definitely escalated as the season progressed (and CBS exploited it, a lot) but we'll probably never know about that for sure

Adam: I'm working til midnight.. I'm on the clock til 12
Ryan: Why'd they make such a big deal of Team Christ, dude?
Adam: Who?
Ryan: Big Brother! I made that up one night just out of, you know..
Adam: Out of nowhere
Ryan: Yea, and it stuck, dude

How to choose a winner

The feeds replay is a lot more interesting than the live version these days, what with 14 of them in there and the true season kickoff (the first vote) currently looming.. it's very interesting to watch things unfold knowing the outcomes as we now do, plus there are a million little gems daily, such as today's February counterpart featuring Jen's butt rash and Chelsia's "I don't want to be some sick perv's wallpaper" - ironic since she ultimately got nekkid far more than most

I don't expect Adam & Ryan to get up to much today (or tomorrow for that matter), and I have a bad feeling The Powers That Be have put the kibosh on slip 'n slide - if so, it's just one more thing to resent the TPTB for, but I guess this one's understandable: they don't want their stars to come hobbling out on crutches with banged up faces tomorrow to the cheering crowd of shamed family members and hamster has-beens

Naturally if slip 'n slide does happen I'll post it and/or anything else noteworthy, should it happen - I still haven't written off the possibility of a BBQ Smackdown season finale - but for now, I'm reviving an old Hamsterwatch favorite because it's that time

It doesn't matter that we don't have a vote: we like to think that we do.. and anyway, we're more qualified to make a selection than the seven bitter jurors.. we don't see any relevant Diary footage anymore since they record pro & con versions of everything now and they don't air any of the meaty stuff these days, but we've seen far more than the jury so they too need to adopt one of these methods to choose a winner:

Played the best game
This is the popular, politically-correct method that everyone claims to use, but nobody really does.. nearly every 'game' falls into one of the other categories

Lied the best/most
This one's a little squirrely as it crosses over into ethical/unethical territory, and that leads to arguments about politics and/or religion, and that leads to flame wars every time.. BB2 Dr. Will is the exception here: he won by skirting the moral issues and flat-out lied about everything - except the fact that he was lying

Needs the money most
Please! We all 'need' a half million dollars! Anyone who goes on a tv show to pay their Visa bill or because they can't scrape together the next car payment should consider credit counseling, bankruptcy, gambling, or steady employment.. we're all sick of the sob stories (this means you, Sheila)

Generally an obvious front-runner for feedsters (although not so much for this season's finalists), but more jury members are closet cutest-sexiest-dreamiest voters than they'll admit

Smartest player
A favorite for feedsters and jury alike, it's what most really mean when they say 'best game' - basically it means 'smarter than me' - but given the fact that we're dealing with people who've spent almost three months pooping on tv, being humiliated for our enjoyment, and making their friends & families ashamed to claim them, most hamsters are eliminated from this category when they complete their BB application

Played like I would
The big daddy for feedsters who haven't caught on that everyone's different and everyone does different things for different reasons.. it's the most popular judging criteria and the dumbest: they aren't you, and until you're in there for three months of paranoia, daily slander, and Diary messing up your better judgment, you can't possibly know what you'd do in there.. get over it

Backstabbing revenge
One of the elimination categories, this one's about rooting for anyone except the player who took out your favorite (or yourself, if on the jury).. this one usually decides the winner.. in gamespeak it's also known as 'nothing personal'

Creeped me out
Another elimination category and a big one this season, this is rooting for anyone except the player who gives you the willies or reminds you of your ex.. more popular among feedsters than the jury, which is odd: they're the ones who lived with the creepies - we can shut 'em off

I just like him/her
Hands-down easiest method because it requires no reasons or explanations, making it the best category to avoid involvement in flame wars

Deserves to win
This really means you don't know or don't care and are probably just afraid of getting involved in a flame war.. back it up with something or shift over to 'I just like him/her'

Most entertaining
A personal favorite, but let's face it: the ones that entertain us the most are usually the ones that drive them nuts inside.. there's probably a connection

Played with integrity
This is a nice pipe dream for optimists and romantics, but not much more: in reality tv, the good tend to die young

I hate them all equally
Most feedsters end up here sooner or later

More later today or tomorrow, including finale coverage and some sort of season wrap-up

Daily videos

Control room(?) audio slippage; and cannonball fun are posted in the forum, linked top & bottom of every page

Daily ratings - F2 learn to fly edition

Final ratings are based on overall entertainment value

I really don't know what to think about this season as far as the 'official' versions. TV ratings were abysmal, due in large part to bad first impressions of the mostly adolescent cast but also the 'soulmates' twist; but a lot of those usually addicted to the feeds probably just couldn't get into the rhythm of it all in a non-summer setting, i.e. students, teachers, and parents with school-age kids. With a couple notable exceptions, this season seemed refreshingly genuine overall to me (especially in constrast to the last two), although some Diary meddling was in evidence as always, and staging for the 9-12 Showtime window was as blatant as last year's introduction of that phenomenon.. they don't even try to pretend otherwise there.

Editing for CBS this time was weirder than usual, using a haphazard cut 'n paste method that often seemed random, and I'll never understand why they overlooked 99% of the racy, salacious stuff they seem to want most there, or Natalie. Both twists ('soulmates' and two 'pre-existing relationships') fell flat as usual. Both couples were discovered before the feeds even kicked in, and while the matchmaker ruse was an obvious sham from the get-go, the pairings made for some interesting problems. Tandem gameplay did take out a few innocent victims though, and while nobody ever said reality tv is fair, it's just not right that twist ingredients Sharon & Ryan got second chances while twist victims Jacob, Parker & Alex didn't. Don't even get me started on the public vote and the 'mystery box' fiasco. At any rate, you'd think they'd start to learn from their mistakes and cut out the lame twist crap and go back to what makes 'Big Brother' what it is: strangers stuck in a house together with no distractions other than paranoia, forced to co-exist with each other while not alienating enough roomies to get evicted. We've now had six seasons defying that basic concept: enough's enough!

Feeds-wise though, BB9 was a banner season like no other. Nobody watches the feeds for sex or nudity alone (there are a billion other/better sites & feeds for both) but that stuff is always an interesting by-product when it happens if only because it's often accidental and almost always surprising in this setting. And both occurred more this season than any other. It used to be something just to catch a kiss or a bare ass here & there but for BB9, makeout sessions and rear ends were the norm rather than the exception, along with a lot more actual sex and full frontals than are usually found this side of a parental controls program. We also had a lot more fights than ever before, and most of them were bigger, louder, more explosive and far nastier than those seen in all eight seasons that came before. While we didn't get as many non-game activities or just plain goofing around as usual, it was probably still the best season of feeds we've ever had or possibly ever will. So big ups to the hamsters themselves, as always, for putting themselves out there for our entertainment, but for the season overall, the producers & editors remain stuck in neutral.

Won: Motorcycle
Paired with Sheila

Adam started out making most of us wonder what he was doing on there. He picked his nose, he scratched his junk, and he told vulgar stories in a rapidfire, syllable-dropping way that required subtitles. He seemed like he was in the background most of the time but as you started watching closer, you began to notice that he was always around during major events yet rarely directly involved in them. Considering the fates of the other guys who were partnered with umm 'troublemakers' for lack of a better word (Parker, Alex and Ryan - the first time), Adam must have been doing something right since his partner was as out there and troublesome as Jen, Amanda and Allison were. He handled Sheila with kid gloves and a tremendous amount of patience (plus a few well-aimed zingers) while keeping up their feud pretense throughout. After awhile as the numbers thinned, we got to know a guy who had a heart, a brain, and a terrific sense of humor, and many of us started to see beyond the picks, scratches & other nasty habits to a pretty good guy. He crumbled a few times when he was confronted with tears, and while that might not be the best game technique in town, it speaks pretty highly for human hamsters. Adam added a lot to the season, and he will be missed.

Won: $10,000, movie premiere,
Beverly Hills shopping spree
Jen's boyfriend / Paired with Allison

One of three revived hamsters this time, he's the one who stuck and longer than anyone would have guessed. He weathered some pretty bad storms early on, between the 'racist' fights that should have probably never been aired (although that will show him that Jen indeed said it), and being paired up with a delusional partner who kept him out of all her loops. When he & Allison were evicted unanimously, it was clear that she was the one who needed to get gone, as everyone voted in Ryan's favor on the re-vote and he went on to become Head of Household that same night. He made promises to most of the current jury that week which he later broke, and he had side deals galore, but up til now at least, none of that stuck to him. He was starting to become known as the teflon hamster, but perhaps the jury will recall some of those things when they vote tomorrow. Watching-wise, he was a lot of fun between his nonstop eating and his general good humor, and he pulled it out at the end with a slew of comp wins. He & Adam made a great comic duo for the final days and he seems like a good guy, and one who proved he can be a good friend. He too will be missed.

Paired with Adam

She had loads of potential but her rants, wild mood swings, repetitive loops, and entitlement speeches made even her fans crazy, and when she launched her Hate Natalie campaign she turned downright ugly. She was all contradictions about her BB knowledge, and I suspect her strategy (if any) was to brainwash her victims by talking them to death. She bashed Adam but worked with him throughout. And know this: she's 45 46 frikkin years old, she's a single frikkin mom, she's writing a frikkin book, and yew know whut? She won't be missed very much. Click for adult material from her heyday.

Won: Movie premiere, Beverly Hills shopping spree. Wasted: Slop pass.
Evicted 1st - revived a few days later
Paired with Jacob (her ex)  Joshuah

She may have driven things early, but then she drove us to distraction fingering her blue blankie thingy. The perpetual pawn stood back whenever buddies Joshuah, James, Chelsia or Sheila let loose, but she cackled about their nasty plans & deeds. Mostly she laid around, and her everlasting vindictive Jacob stories, her screechy laugh, and her calls to the BEEBIES won't be missed. Strategy? Maybe.. but watching-wise, she was a dud. See Attw x's tribute :)

Paired with Matt

Party girl deluxe who did things no hamster ever has or probably ever will again. She stripped, suds'd, slurped and grinded her way into many feedsters' hearts (and a few other places), all the while being cheery, fun, and unbelievably candid. Later she toned it down and talked & preached too much, but she's easily the Star of the Season and Most Photogenic. She'll also be remembered for kooky kneesocks, nail polish paintings, and homemade dairy products.

Revived a minute after his first eviction
Paired with Chelsia

Offline scandals kept popping up but CBS kept hyping him - damage control maybe. He pushed Chelsia til she did what she promised Daddy she wouldn't, but most of that was blocked. He cried when nobody liked him, he slept a lot, got nekkid a lot, masturbated a lot, and topped Cowboy's hat trick with his tuck. Like another James before him, he played all sides too soon and too eagerly, and it came back to bite him. Click for his adult material.

Paired with Neil  Sharon

He put on costumes and breakfast shows, and did hot tub monologues, praying & sobbing aloud. He exploded viciously on Amanda & Allison, and about Sheila & Natalie (usually focused on genitalia), but he left the guys alone except James, who he c-blocked & puppy-dogged. He had lots of schemes to save himself but used them up early, and his huge drama potential fell short when we needed it most. He had the only Diary restraining order I know of: 5 feet away from Allison.

Won: $21,000 Vegas trip
Paired with James

Sometimes a spitfire who gave us good fights & fireworks but she laid around with James way too much, which was her undoing and ours. She'll be remembered for feedmasters' attempts to protect her, strip/lap dance/makeout night, having sex, raunchy stories, a colorful vocabulary, getting smashed, smashing everyone's Easter eggs, and for going out with the nasty speeches they all threaten but rarely follow through with.

Paired with Natalie

America's Playa came on strong, prepared to showmance his way through all the girls and into the money. That didn't work out but he was fun to have around and he usually kept things light amid the chaos. He brought BJs to the feeds and made Bibles fun in there. Despite the fact that he's a pig, he has some good qualities too and he kinda grows on you.

Paired with Ryan

She called it manipulation - I call it emotional blackmail with a lot of 'poor me' thrown in. One of the most delusional hamsters ever (and that's saying something), she's the poster girl for Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It. She did give us some confrontation doozies and fireworks deluxe but trust her, like one million percent, she does not care.

Revive-a-Hamster winner & loser
Paired with Amanda

He started out looking like he was on board with Matt's showmance plan and CBS picked up that angle, but then we got to know a bright, charismatic, and goofy guy who had everything going for him in there except his partner. His diplomacy was remarkable and he might have gone the distance, but he went out as another casualty of 'Til Death Do You Part'.

Paired with Alex

She began with hysterics & drama and was at the center of the biggest BB fight ever, but she went out with more of a whimper than a bang. Her moods dropped as fast as her blood sugar but to her credit, she rebounded just as fast. She & Allison had dual 911 events, but Amanda's collapse brought unexpected (and uniformed) guests into the habitat and onto the air.

Won: $5,000
Ryan's girlfriend / Paired with Parker

She & Ryan could have gone far if she hadn't opened her mouth in the first days. She made loads of enemies in a short time and took Parker down with her. She'll be remembered for super-quickie sex in the bathroom and a rash on her backside.. hmm, coincidence?

Won: $5,000
Paired with Jen

He was good watching at first til he gave up and went on strike. He bounced back a bit at the end but his doom came early when partner Jen couldn't keep her trap shut about her & Ryan. She had to go, and he was just the innocent bystander casualty. 'I'm sick of people's dumbass assinine ass comments' might be Line of the Season.

Paired with Joshuah

He left suddenly and mysteriously but wrote on his MySpace that he didn't leave for health reasons, and that he won't be back. He seems like a good guy and I wish him well.. he's probably lucky he got out when he did, unscathed.

Paired with Sharon (his ex)

Gone before the feeds kicked in: he didn't even make an appearance. All that potential for rehashing their breakup and/or a jealous rage up in smoke. To make it worse, he & Sharon didn't even get an exit interview in Julie's boudoir - how rude!

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Technically Ryan is Head of Household, but the room's closed and the duties are done

Feeds too slow? Miss something big? Go back in time and watch 14 of them! The feeds replay has begun, only on SuperPass!

Click for links or use DogDave's popup. Use the BB9 daily index to see what's coming up.

Napping, eating, packing, hopefully slip 'n slide? Maybe a BBQ Smackdown finale

Sunday, April 27 at 8pm: Finale will include jury questioning, evictees & juror check-ins, and voting for & announcing the winner

Wednesday's final eviction show tied for second with a 4.4 rating and 7 share, about even with 'Til Death' at 4.0/7 and 'Back to You' at 4.5/7 on Fox, behind 'Deal or No Deal' on NBC with 6.6/11.
Rating = % of all TV households
Share = % of households watching TV

First place earns $500k, second gets $50k. The others earn $750 a week, including jury sequester weeks for those that go there

BB10 premieres Sunday, July 13

Rumors are swirling that they'll have an older, more diverse cast this summer, but we've heard all that before.. time will tell.

If you want to be on it, click for the eligibility requirements and application. Watch Craigslist in May/June, sign with actormodel agencies they use (such as this one) or go right to the horse's mouth, the BB casting director. Stay informed about upcoming casting info with BigBrother Casting Calls.

Round 1, The Teaser: BBQ ½, Ryan 0
Round 2, The Stinger: BBQ 1, Adam 0
Round 3, The Singe: BBQ ½, Ryan 0
It's not necessarily over yet

Sex: 7x (3 Jen/Ryan; 4 James/Chelsia)
Oral: 4x (all Natalie/Matt)
Sex tallies are minumums, based on overwhelming circumstantial evidence

Self-servicers: 3 (James, Adam, Matt)
Makeout session pairings: 4
  (Jen/Ryan, James/Chelsia,
  Alex/Sharon, Matt/Sharon)
Nekkid makeout pool orgy: 1
Nekkid party favor: 3
 (Natalie, James, Chelsia)
Nekkid party trick: 2 (James, Natalie)
Ambulance rides: 2 (Amanda, Allison)
Rodent bites: 1 (Ryan)
OB Incidents: 1 (Ryan/Adam)
Returned evictees: 3
 (Sharon, Ryan, James)
Revive-a-Hamster vote hoaxes: 1
'Best Week Ever' mentions: 2 (Adam)
'The Soup' mentions: 1 (Alex/Amanda)
Major fights: too many to count
Chelsia abortion/baby mentions after Diary said one more and she's out: 2

See it all with a monthly or quarterly feeds subscription. Both include a two week free trial with no obligation to buy.

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This site isn't necessarily thorough: it's what I catch and/or what interests me. It also isn't necessarily about who should win, who will win, who I'd be friends with or who is cute. It's about watching hamsters: which ones are doing what and why, which are fun and which are dull. If they aren't entertaining, get rid of 'em! Thanks for encouraging my behavior.

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