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March 11, 2008 - Day 33 (or 34)

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>> Ryan is Head of Household - Sharon and James are nominated <<

Smiles everyone, smiles!

The camera came out on cue and the grouchy, bitchy habitat turned into a lovefest again for a minute, like it does.. as predicted in yesterday's vocabulary lesson, they've begun intense waffling and some are now leaning back toward sending Sharon to walk the plank to Julie's boudoir.. we shall see

I'm hoping for a good HOH blog from Ryan but not expecting much.. I was expecting a juicy one from Joshuah & Sharon and all they delivered was fluff

By the way, I'll stop including the alternate (accurate?) day count now, as the revised one is definitely official, and I've made my point

Chelsia buddied up with former arch-enemies Sheila & Natalie for awhile as part of the wafflefest.. Sheila, who has often said she's only seen "parts of BB8" is suddenly an expert on all Big Brother moms past.. she denied using "the mom card" and went on to justify having used it ad nauseum.. Chelsia tried to stop James from popping a huge neck zit, screaming "It's not ready!".. I'll risk starting a wild rumor by suggesting it could be an enlarged lymph node
A huge problem with them casting so many adolescents is having to watch their endless zit-popping, though I'm not sure older folks' hygiene routines would be much more palatable - they could be worse

Matt skates again, and again

Natalie & Matt had another round about kissing Sharon

Once again, she made valid points and once again, he danced around them and threatened to end their alliance when he ran out of excuses

Afterwards she cried a bit and prayed a bit, both quietly


Following that, James faced off with Matt for an audience of Ryan, Sheila, Natalie & Adam.. James also had a few valid points but Matt kept asking for backup from the assembled hamsters that he didn't come up with the various plans to backdoor/backstab James, and he got it

Matt scored a direct hit by asking James "Why isn't it ok for you to be backdoor'd, but it was ok for me?".. their fight included a bonus Adam explosion, basically telling everyone to STFU and let each of them decide who to vote for on their own, and a James/Ryan "truce on the fucking" (top pic)

James/Chelsia makeout blackouts continued through the day & evening.. feedmasters let slip a bit of Natalie in Diary, along with a non-recorded announcement to them about a lockdown coming and they had to clear out the backyard - sounds like endurance apparatus setup to me.. we'll see

Bible class

Matt & Adam are bringing a whole new kind of Bible study into the habitat.. it's guaranteed to offend some but I thought it was hysterical

Matt: Damn, Jacob married two bitches in one week
Adam: Jacob gets busy, dude

Sharon told Sheila huge long stories about her Jacob, how he was kicked out of the Marines and went to military jail, supposedly for his buddies writing bad checks ("Freudians?" Sheila asked), and another about a car crash.. Sharon also went to great lengths to say how she "had to be the one" to tell his parents all this dreadful news

She got some dreadful news herself when Sheila & Natalie told her Joshuah had/was turning on her, and might vote her out.. Sharon fingered her blue thingy with both hands upon hearing this

Some night-before grooming took place upstairs and James did some excavations downstairs.. Ryan & Matt are still stopping up the kitchen sink to catch unsuspecting thirsty hamsters.. they didn't quite get Chelsia but it was just as funny watching them wait for it as if they had

Tonight was Matt's turn to sit for a portrait.. the artist waved to us when she finished - hey, Natalie!

Ryan's week of the good life is about to end, and it's another whole new ballgame tomorrow

Daily videos

Another Natalie/Matt fight (she's right about him hiding in HOH); James/Matt fight with Adam explosion; Matt/Adam Bible study; and Chelsia almost gets punk'd are posted in the forum, linked top & bottom of every page

Daily ratings - Would you like waffles with that? edition

Ratings are based on entertainment value

Qualified ups to Tuesday's show for getting things in sequence and telling the story as it happened this time, and for including some key points such as James suggesting Chelsia go up in the first place, and for showing Sharon diddling her blue thing. I'm not sure we need to hear 'the house was turned upside down' every show let alone a rerun of the Psycho music for Natalie & Matt sleeping arrangements again: check the tapes, guys! And do we really need two pinky swears in one hour, especially from the edgy druggie kids and the pig & his stripper? Very odd. Joshuah was clearly the star of this show with his many Diaries but his 'biggest strategic move in BB history' was obviously so much crap, but it made him look like an eejit when it bounced back on him within a few minutes. BRAND NEW MOTORCYCLE was an odd description.. is that as opposed to a junker they picked up on eBay? Sheila got a lot of air time on this show too, between the catsuit (they didn't even show BB8 Jen getting into it, did they?) and her tiresome single mom lament (plus a potential lawsuit from Simon & Garfunkel for the not quite 'Mrs. Robinson' MILF theme), not to mention her parting shot about having been 'the mastermind' - those words have often been the kiss of death for hamsters. With all the repetitive recaps about them no longer being coupled, why are the opening credits still in the same couples format?

Won: Motorcycle
Paired with Sheila

Ups for his unique Bible interpretations, and for blowing up at the waffling party and telling them they should all just vote how they want to vote. Even the wafflers applauded that one, but then they went right back to psst pssting.

Paired with James

Daddy (or whoever) really has The Powers That Be by the short 'n curlies, as she & James don't get more than a few seconds of making out now before they're yanked off-screen. That's the kind of thing they love to put on the feeds, and she & her dad both signed releases to let fly whatever occurs, so what is up there? It can't be money bribes: CBS is a public company with audits and the like, but that's the general consensus among viewers. Keeping her kissyface sessions off the feeds doesn't change her other racy stuff though (or remove the 1000s of pics & videos) and anyway, she keeps going on about sex and drugs and how she likes to be slapped around. If it is her dad behind the blackouts, I have a feeling she won't be able to go out in public for five years or so after she gets out of here.

Paired with Chelsia

He tried to put up a good fight with Matt and friends, but it was way too little and way too late, and besides, Matt was spot-on when he asked him why it's ok to backdoor one but not another. As of now it's looking like James might be the keeper, but between gay-for-pay porn, beach pooping, bridge jumping, drug dealing, insurance swindling, pickle juice throwing, and threats of finger breaking - not to mention the blackouts with Chelsia - I have a feeling CBS views him as a liability. They might work on them in Diary tomorrow to be rid of him before jury.. we'll find out soon enough.

Paired with Neil  Sharon

He's a busy guy in there and his paranoid theories, sure-fire plans to win HOH, and misconceptions about BB overall make him an ideal point 'n laugh target. I'm trying to pace myself though.. he'll be one to watch when Revive-a-Hamster comes to fruition tomorrow, whoever it is.

Paired with Natalie

I'm simply stunned by what he continues to get away with, day in and day out, and I look forward to more Bible sessions from him & Adam. Incidentally, I've had some questions about Matt's ups and all I can do is draw attention to the disclaimer atop this section on a daily basis - I'm not shopping for friends among these guys. He's a pig, but he keeps things lively in there.

Paired with Matt

I don't know if she's calculating all this busywork she does or if it's random blabbermouthing, but no matter as it always stirs things up. She painted portrait #4 tonight and although it might not have been her best effort, she couldn't get Matt to sit still like the others did. I'm always a sucker for any hamster who talks to or waves to us, so it's easy ups for her today.

Won: $10,000
Jen's boyfriend Paired with Allison

Consider: he was all but gone a week ago, he came this close to deserting his alliance and backdooring his buddy, he ended up going for a different sneaky backdoor, and he's come out smelling like roses this week! How'd he pull that off? Well, tomorrow's a new regime and he'll be just a citizen again, albeit one wearing a bull's eye for many of them.

Paired with Jacob (her ex)  Joshuah

Her Jacob stories to Sheila sounded like they had a touch of martyr complex along with a bit of glee at being the bearer of bad tidings, but she wasn't so happy getting her own bad news about Joshuah. The blue blankie shawl thingy had been tucked away for a bit but it came out again for all that and in a big way. If she wears it and/or twiddles it on the live show, I might lose it completely. Her topknot arrangements get curiouser and curiouser.

Paired with Adam

See Natalie, although in Sheila's case I think she's fully aware of the stirring up she keeps doing. Most of it doesn't seem to make much sense to me as eventually all this stuff always comes out and rarely helps anyone. (Most of it comes out within minutes this season.) She contradicted herself again regarding how much BB she's watched in the past by talking about previous hamster moms. Her actions of this past week do and don't indicate that she knows what she's doing game-wise but whatever the reasons, I'm all for stirring it up and she keeps doing that. But will somebody please get her to drop the single mom lament?

Paired with Ryan

She called it manipulation - I call it emotional blackmail with a lot of 'poor me' thrown in. One of the most delusional hamsters ever (and that's saying something), she's the poster girl for Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It. She did give us some confrontation doozies and fireworks deluxe but trust her, like one million percent, she does not care.

Paired with Amanda

He started out looking like he was on board with Matt's showmance plan and CBS picked up that angle, but then we got to know a bright, charismatic, and goofy guy who had everything going for him in there except his partner. His diplomacy was remarkable and he might have gone the distance, but he went out as another casualty of 'Til Death Do You Part'.

Paired with Alex

She began with hysterics & drama and was at the center of the biggest BB fight ever, but she went out with more of a whimper than a bang. Her moods dropped as fast as her blood sugar but to her credit, she rebounded just as fast. She & Allison had dual 911 events, but Amanda's collapse brought unexpected (and uniformed) guests into the habitat and onto the air.

Won: $5,000
Ryan's girlfriend/Paired with Parker

She & Ryan could have gone far if she hadn't opened her mouth in the first days. She made loads of enemies in a short time and took Parker down with her. She'll be remembered for super-quickie sex in the bathroom and a rash on her backside.. hmm, coincidence?

Won: $5,000
Paired with Jen

He was good watching at first til he gave up and went on strike. He bounced back a bit at the end but his doom came early when partner Jen couldn't keep her trap shut about her & Ryan. She had to go, and he was just the innocent bystander casualty. 'I'm sick of people's dumbass assinine ass comments' might be Line of the Season.

Paired with Joshuah

He left suddenly and mysteriously but wrote on his MySpace that he didn't leave for health reasons and that he won't be back. He seems like a good guy and I wish him well.. he's probably lucky he got out when he did, unscathed.

Paired with Sharon (his ex)

Gone before the feeds kicked in: he didn't even make an appearance. All that potential for rehashing their breakup and/or a jealous rage up in smoke. To make it worse, he & Sharon didn't even get an exit interview in Julie's boudoir - how rude!

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Fights & paranoia are still breaking out all over: everyone's involved

HOH comp could be endurance: it's time, and they'll have a fresh, rested revived hamster in there

Revive-a-Hamster voting has ended

Jacob would make or break Sharon's game, bring angry sex potential, and we'd find out what he looks like

Jen would make or break Ryan's game, cause a lot of drama, and have sex

Parker would be entertaining and probably smarter the 2nd time, and he'd make the sponsors happy

Amanda would create chaos and cause fights, cry a lot and make excuses

Alex would be funny and flirty, talk in funny voices, do talk shows, and probably be a nice guy again

Allison would be Allison, and would beat Kaysar's 3 eviction record by combining them in the same season, and unanimously

Ryan is Head of Household
Sharon and James are nominated

On slop: Chelsia, Sharon, Sheila, Joshuah

In a catsuit: Sheila

Testosterone Alliance (my name only): Matt, Ryan, Adam, Natalie, Sheila

Estrogen Alliance (my name only): Joshuah, Sharon, James, Chelsia, formerly Sheila

Sounds like the winner of Revive-a-Hamster will be reintroduced to the habitat on Wednesday's live show? One out and one in like the Neil/Sharon swap, but without the mystery

Finale is April 29 but 'subject to change'

First place earns $500k, second gets $50k. The others earn $750 a week, including jury sequester weeks for those that go there

Tuesday's show remained in third place with a 3.9 rating and 6 share, behind 'American Idol' on Fox with 17.8/27 and 'The Biggest Loser' on NBC with 5.2/8.
Rating = % of all TV households
Share = % of households watching TV

Wednesday, March 12 at 8pm: Veto fallout, live eviction, Revive-a-Hamster, HOH comp (endurance?), mass quantities of drama

Sex: 3 (Jen/Ryan)
Oral: 2 (Natalie/Matt)
Self-service: 3 (James, Adam, Matt)
Makeout session pairings: 4
  (Jen/Ryan, James/Chelsia,
  Alex/Sharon, Matt/Sharon)
Nekkid makeout pool orgy: 1
Nekkid party favor: 3
 (Natalie, James, Chelsia)
Nekkid party trick: 2 (James, Natalie)
Ambulance rides: 2 (Amanda, Allison)
Major fights: too many to count

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