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Finale finally

Star of the Season

That's that, almost

Huzzah

Ratings - It's a Wrap edition

They packed an awful lot into 90 minutes, much of it pointless rehashes, and a few hamsters took up more than their share of time that should have been allotted to more of them. The things that should have been given more weight (like the formerly explosive jury questions) ended up being as meaty as a Sunday fluff segment. But that's how they do things: they've got a formula and they stick to it, and why shouldn't they? It's their playpen and we're just looking in. Nevermind that this season was pretty much a rerun with rerun hamsters, rerun comps, and rerun show formats, it's still the only thing like it but that's because of one thing only: the feeds. Thanks to Allison, Rich, Julie, and everyone behind the walls, and thanks to everyone at SuperPass for letting us watch the real show once again, particularly Chelsia for wearing so many hats for them and doing so well in all of them.
Paired with Brendon Jordan Won: $500,000, Jessie paraphernalia, Aruba trip (from 'The Talk') Her second season started the same and revolved around Brendon: hanging on him, babytalking, predictable & near-constant fighting, and the dreaded slurpydurp. She never got her Vegas back but she's clearly a better person when he's not around sucking the life out of her, and it was good to see her on her own. She was denied three HOH interviews with Julie, she dominated the competitions, flashed her boobies, and was heard peeing live on CBS.	Paired with Keith Kalia - GOLDEN KEY Won: $55,000, clothes She survived first noms but then was barely there for weeks, prompting me to post Daily Porsche Sighting pics, but she stuck to the end and won comps when she had to. She was one of several who stole and hid others' items, and she tampered with the house protein drink powder. She'll be remembered for confusing her elbow & shoulder, overacted comp hosting, shrinking bikinis, and for making velour tracksuits an anti-fashion statement.
Paired with Dominic Shelly - GOLDEN KEY Won: One week elf suit, clothes VTW = Porsche His humor was often misunderstood but he remained even-tempered and made no enemies, which is rare. He's the 'regular person' most fans want but many turned on him for not being more dynamic game-wise. He beat Brendon at hot dogs, filled the nice guy role well, and his week as Cruddy the Elf was fun & memorable, as was his nerdy Phillip character. Apparently my #1 fan, he gave me endless shout-outs, to which I say thumbs up back at ya!	Paired with Jeff Rachel Won: One week catsuit + tutu, clothes VTW = Rachel She did her ditzy again but she showed some BB savvy this time as well, although she forgot many of her winning season's details. She wore the enhanced catsuit with flair and a great attitude, and continuously fingered her hair. She got fired up twice which seemed out of character for her, but so did her chest-bumping Russell. Her most surprising moment for me was her spot-on Fire Marshall Bill face, and her tooty-toot voice was hilarious.
Paired with Lawon Porsche Won: $5,000, Caribbean trip, clothes VTW = Porsche She seemed to be eating most of the time and she talked 'literally' nonstop, but it was her constant singing & resulting palms that got her on feedsters' hit lists, escalated by doggie horror stories like throwing her yorkie into a wall (8/29 12.43pm, 8/29 11.13pm). She talked a lot about making 'big moves' but her first was to nom & evict her own teamie Lawon. She later nom'd & evicted Jeff, but she didn't get the flak for it that Shelly did.	Paired with Cassi Adam - GOLDEN KEY Won: 24 hours solitary, phone call VTW = Rachel She'd said she didn't want to fill the mom role but she represented the demo well, being a friend to most of them when they were down and handing out good advice. She also bashed with the best of them, smoked and cleaned non-stop, and she introduced the hilarious stealth hammock creep. She took a lot of flak for things she did and didn't do, but she played the game the way it was designed to be played and it took them 55 days to catch on.
Paired with Jordan Won: $40,000 VTW = Rachel His sense of entitlement to be there and win was as strong as the other vets, but it didn't work out for him this time either. He went out on a bitter note but he gave us his share of funny one-liners while he lasted, especially when he was losing. He had issues with Dumbledore, was a formidable opponent for the new grill and for Adam & Shelly's cigarette supplies, he won all the cash to date, and he'll probably get yet another CBS show after this.	Paired with Dick - GOLDEN KEY/TICKET Won/used: Veto ticket VTW = Porsche She looked & acted different this time, especially when she joked & laughed which was great to see, but she failed at her former specialty of winning vetos and she went back to whining when on the block and on slop. Like all the vets, she had a sense of entitlement but she turned on them too soon, got Dominic booted, and later evicted her teamie Lawon. She shuffled her deck and almost had an 11th hour save, but it 'literally' didn't work out.
Paired with Rachel Won: 1 week revival VTW = Rachel His return was twice unwelcome, especially now that he's had a year to suck the life and Vegas out of Rachel. This time he wore superhero suits, used not-funny voices, lost a toy turtle, lectured everyone, and had big goofy smiles for Big Booty & Porsche's striptease. He had a pathetic sense of entitlement and made a giant stink about Rachel calling him Buki.	Paired with Kalia Won: nothing My favorite hamster in years, he came out with his best stuff late nights so many missed it, but he gave great Diary, wore kooky outfits and officiated at the trashbag wedding with tremendous style & flair. He caught flak for pawning himself out the door but his teamies encouraged it and put him up, so it's not all on him. He was Lawonderful with a fantastic laugh and he'll be missed.
Paired with Adam Won: nothing He was the first casualty of Daniele's too hard/too fast strategy but he didn't help himself by not brushing up more on how BB works. He told a lot of pointless lies about his modeling, schooling, virginity and then fessed up to them, which might have come back to bite him anyway. His adolescent jokes & behavior did nothing for me.	Paired with Shelly Won: nothing She started off okay and had Dominic in her pocket, but Shelly befriended her so well that when they were both nominated, Cassi just laid down and died. She complained a lot, failed to fulfill her catfight potential, and was the third model in a row to be booted out second. She had the best Mirror-Face since BB5/7 Jase.
Paired with Porsche Won: nothing He claimed to be a fan since BB1 but even watching only CBS, he clearly wasn't paying attention: who throws a veto comp when they're on the block? He went in with a clearly outlined womanizing strategy which failed miserably, he set off another BB Weinergate, and he panicked himself right out the door.	Paired with Daniele Won: nothing We haven't had a premiere night no-show since BB9 Jacob, and we haven't had a mysterious early exit since BB9 Neil. These pairs twist seasons just seem to complicate things for production. No real word yet on why Dick's gone (and there may never be) but he sure was looking rough in the premiere.

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