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Slurpydurp interruptus (Monday)

Trashbag wedding dancers

Rise and shine (Sunday)

Trashbag wedding

Ratings - Best Face Forward edition

Monday: If they don't use the Jeff/Jordan convo after she was nominated where he let out a loud fart and they both just kept going, I'll lose all hope in them. Sunday: You know they've jumped the shark when they start narrating entire episodes with things like 'under the bus' and 'BFFs', and got Rachel to utter her dreaded 'me and MY man' again. I don't know who would even watch the CBS show on its own. It has to be the only TV show that's 80% adults laying around whispering in bed and 20% silly comps in silly costumes. But they didn't exaggerate the endurance times for a change so maybe there's hope. I like how they pretend to go for continuity in Diary (and fail) but they aired a Lawon convo from the first week like it took place yesterday. They haven't even bothered to change the phase of the moon in those time-pass segues all season. Faux pas of the day was the over-eager guy on the fishies/control room/palms button once again: tonight they actually blocked feeds chatter about whether 'Big Brother' was on CBS tonight or not. No, they really did. But all things considered, they are at least trying to turn this debacle of boredom into something to put on TV and that tickles me.
Paired with Dominic - GOLDEN KEY Won: One week elf suit Monday: Ups remain in place for his good humor and bad taste for his part in the strip show, and his ongoing embracing of his inner elf. Sunday: Spontaneous elf dancing continues for no reason and that's good enough for me, along with his corny elf jokes. If it was anybody else I'd be groaning, but he gets away with it. I wasn't so sure about his overnight 'Heavy Metal Elf Show' when it started, but then he made it about bands and not cutesy elf stuff, so that worked okay. I just hope BB didn't put him up to it in hopes of a 'Dick at Night' knock-off.	Paired with Rachel NOMINATED Monday: His obnoxious speeches are getting worse, culiminating with his crack about Britney's house fire, all because she impersonated his neander-tall stomp and had the audacity to outlast him. In response to him saying today 'I'd rather be loyal and go down with my pride than go down being a manipulator' please refer to his tactics when it comes to his lady love: flashback 7/19 12.32pm - to use a favorite BB term, he has 'sealed his own fate' these two summers, and will forever be known as a total (and nasty) manipulator. He can't get gone soon enough. Sunday: I have nothing nice to say, so I'll say nothing at all.
Paired with Shelly She started off okay and had Dominic in her pocket, but Shelly befriended her so well that when they were both nominated, Cassi just laid down and died. She complained a lot, failed to fulfill her catfight potential, and was the third model in a row to be booted out second. She had the best Mirror-Face since BB5/7 Jase.	Paired with Dick - GOLDEN KEY/TICKET HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD Monday: Ups were downgraded to neutral for getting loud and sippy but channeling it back to all game talk, all the time, and reduced to a solid negative when she went back to silent click-talking alone with Kalia in HOH room. Even though she did it hiding under a hoodie with zit cream polka-dots on her face. Sunday: I'm still dead set against BB veterans sticking a minute more than they already have, but she's winning me over. A week ago she was Public Enemy #1, dead in the water, and now she seems to be in a pretty good spot. I'm not crazy about the company she keeps (Kalia), and I'm dreading her move downstairs and return to silent click-talking, but for now it's all good.
Paired with Daniele We haven't had a premiere night no-show since BB9 Jacob, and we haven't had a mysterious early exit since BB9 Neil. These pairs twist seasons just seem to complicate things for production. No real word yet on why Dick's gone (and there may never be) but he sure was looking rough in the premiere.	Paired with Adam He was the first casualty of Daniele's too hard/too fast strategy but he didn't help himself by not brushing up more on how BB works. He told a lot of pointless lies about his modeling, schooling, virginity and then fessed up to them, which might have come back to bite him anyway. His adolescent jokes and behavior did nothing for me.
Paired with Jordan Won $10k Monday: Ups are downgraded to neutral for dull. Sunday: It doesn't take much for ups these days: he gets them for today's cracks about Porsche and for his goony greenlight banter, just like two years ago.	Paired with Jeff NOMINATED Monday: Ups are downgraded to neutral for dull, other than when she put on Adam's elf hat and adopted a new personality for a minute. Sunday: Ditto Jeff's ups for greenlight goony even if a lot of it was reruns from BB11. She's living on pickles and the way she eats them is making fellatio fans happy. I think she'll be sitting next to Brendon on Thursday, but don't hold me to it.
Paired with Lawon Monday: No change Sunday: See today's drinking game: everyone's sober and it's her fault.	Paired with Porsche He claimed to be a fan since BB1 but even watching only CBS, he clearly wasn't paying attention: who throws a veto comp when they're on the block? He went in with a clearly outlined womanizing strategy which failed miserably, he set off another BB Weinergate, and he panicked himself right out the door.
Paired with Kalia Monday: Ups for participating in the show including choreography and cheerleading, especially when he's been feeling so lousy. He's content to stay quiet and let them think he's dumb until it's time to do otherwise, and all but Daniele seem to be falling for it. Sunday: He pretty much just comes alive after midnight but he's been suffering lately: he's on slop but he won't eat slop, and he has to share a brightly lit bedroom with Rachel & Brendon, so cut him some slack for now. He'll rebound.	Paired with Keith - GOLDEN KEY Monday: Ups for surprising everyone with her strip show and for her long involved game chat with Daniele later. She's turning into a world class double agent and seems to be getting away with it for now. I still need a translator for her but maybe that's just me. Sunday: I need a translator for her, and it's not just because of that elbow/shoulder mixup.
Paired with Brendon Monday: I should neutralize her for being so bitchy after the party they threw for her, but I'll let her ups ride for now - it's a long time til Thursday. Sunday: After several days of droopy when we should be having one giant hissy-fit, she turned out to be a great sport with her trashbag wedding dress and self-proclaimed trashy wedding on the horizon. It's nice to give Rachel ups for being able to laugh with her instead of at her.	Paired with Cassi - GOLDEN KEY Monday: No change, but she gets extra credit for saying she wants more glass cleaner when they got an unprecedented bonus second booze delivery. The way things turned out, Windex might have gotten us better results. Sunday: Game-wise, she still owns them all. She listens to them, she tells them what they want to hear, and she does flawless damage control when they wonder if she's being 'sketchy'. Entertainment-wise, she's not all that, but she keeps the place tidy.

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