Big Brother 12that dingo'sHamsterWatch

I don't care who wins, I'm just here for the cheap entertainment.. the cheaper, the better

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This site is about the Big Brother 12 feeds and contains spoilers! It isn't necessarily thorough: it's what I catch and/or what interests me. It also isn't necessarily about who will win, who should win, who's cute or who's horrid. It's about watching hamsters: who's doing what and why, who's fun and who's dull. If they aren't entertaining, get rid of 'em! Thanks for encouraging my behavior.

Flashback what you missed

Take a swig whenever one of them is horizontal - but keep this link handy: Signs of alcohol poisoning

Hayden won Part 1
Lane won Part 2

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Westies can watch live at 5pm PT
thanks to DreamAngel

Lots of naps
Wednesday 9pm Finale: Final HOH part 3 Hayden vs Lane, eviction, jury Q&A, cast reunion, Stabo 2.0 reveal, jury vote for winner

Sunday's 'Best Of' show placed second for the hour with 6.7 million viewers, 4.0 rating and 6 share, behind 'Sunday Night Football' on NBC with 21.4/12.5/20, and ahead of 'America's Funniest Home Videos' rerun on ABC with 5.9/3.4/5, and 'The Simpsons' & 'The Cleveland Show' reruns on FOX with 6.5/3.9/6 & 4.2/2.6/5 respectively. Football also won the 18-49 demographic.

Rating = % of all TV households
Share = % of households watching TV

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FlashBack - requires Superpass

Episode 1 8/8 11pm Quads
Episode 2 8/9 11.44pm F1/2
Episode 3 8/10 11.10pm F3/4
Episode 4 8/11 11.20pm F1/2
Episode 5 8/20 1:47am F3/4
Episode 6 8/22 11:48pm F1/2

Who should get $25k extra?
Vote free at - Hamsterwatch endorses Britney

Two hour finale is September 15

Lane opened Pandora's Box which gave him $91.17 and gave them all no cups or utensils, one night of sock puppets, and dancing

Brendon opened Pandora's Box which gave him a night out and let Rachel back for 24 hours.

Matt opened Pandora's Box which held the return of the saboteur (in the form of Ragan) to WREAK HAVOC, and gave him diamond veto for 2 weeks.

Britney opened Pandora's Box and got an hour of BB10/11 Jessie insulting her while the others had a luau

Ragan won $20k for performing 3 tasks a week for 2 weeks undetected. His identity will be revealed to them at the finale.

I use Stabo/Staboteur/Stabotage because of the typo in an early official CBS BB tweet

Annie & Monet were sequestered until Andrew was evicted. Nobody knows why.

The first saboteur was Annie. She'd have won $50k if she lasted 5 weeks undetected.

Ragan's tattoo says 'Quelquefois un rêve est ce qui vous fait un esclave' ('Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave')

Have-Nots have their own room again, cold showers again, slop again, plus additional food items decided by viewer votes.

Nobody knows why Paolo isn't there.

The winner of BB12 will win $500k and 2nd place gets $50k. Hamsters earn $750 a week including pre-show hotel and jury sequester.

The habitat has 52 cameras and 95 microphones.

The recorded Big Brother in-house announcements are the voice of producer Don Wollman.

All feeds stay on one 'scene' when someone's in Diary.


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>> Hayden won Part 1 - Lane won Part 2 <<

>> Tweeting Big Brother since BB8 - click to see all or follow - latest:

    How to pick a winner

    The feeds are utterly dead in the dullest Dead Week of the dullest season we've ever had.. even when the Final Three aren't horizontal, they're not doing anything, so I figure I'll recycle my traditional end-of-season feature a bit earlier than usual

    I've always maintained it doesn't matter a bit who gets the money unless you're a second cousin or better, but some Hamsterwatchers seem to care who wins, so I once again present the following for your rooting enjoyment.. after all, feedsters are more qualified to make a selection than the bitter jurors - we don't see any relevant Diary footage anymore since they record pro & con versions of everything now and they don't air any of the meaty stuff, but we've seen far more than the jury so they too need to use one of these methods:

    Played the best game
    This is the popular, politically-correct method that everyone claims to use, but nobody really does.. it's pretty much moot this time anyway since all three played the same vote together & lay low game.. Hayden has a slight edge here due to winning these recent comps after a losing season (much like BB11 Jordan) but nearly every 'game' falls into one of the other categories so don't feel pressured to root for Hayden through some misguided urge to be PC

    Lied the best/most
    Again, all three are on equal footing here with their secret alliance 'lie', but this one's a little squirrely as it crosses over into ethical/unethical territory, and that leads to arguments about politics and/or religion, and that leads to flame wars every time.. BB2/7 Dr. Will is the exception here: he won by skirting the moral issues and flat-out lied about everything - except the fact that he was lying, and he was light years more fun & charming about it than these three

    Needs the money most
    Please! We all 'need' a half million dollars! Anyone who goes on a tv show to pay their Visa bill or because they can't scrape together the next car payment should consider credit counseling, bankruptcy, gambling, or steady employment.. we're all sick of the sob stories and besides, all three guys seem to be financially stable and/or have family members who support them

    Generally a favorite method for feedsters, but more jury members are closet cutest-sexiest-dreamiest voters than they'll admit.. straight guys and lesbians will need to select a different method this year

    Smartest player
    A favorite for feedsters and jury alike, it's what most really mean when they say 'best game' - basically it means 'smarter than me' - but given the fact that we're dealing with people who've spent two months pooping on tv, being humiliated for our enjoyment, and making their friends & families ashamed to claim them, most hamsters are eliminated from this category when they complete their BB application

    Played like I would
    The big daddy for feedsters who haven't caught on that everyone's different and everyone does different things for different reasons.. it's the most popular judging criteria and the dumbest: they aren't you, they haven't seen everything you've seen, and until you're in there for two months of paranoia, daily slander, and Diary messing up your better judgment, you can't possibly know what you'd do in there.. get over it

    Backstabbing revenge
    One of the elimination categories, this one's about rooting for anyone except the player who took out your favorite (or yourself, if on the jury).. this one usually decides the winner.. in gamespeak it's also known as 'nothing personal'

    Creeped me out
    Another elimination category and a big one some seasons, this is rooting for anyone except the player who gives you the willies or reminds you of your ex.. more popular among feedsters than the jury, which is odd: they're the ones who lived with the creepies - we can shut 'em off.. feel free to cite this one if you need an excuse to abstain from voting

    I just like him
    Hands-down easiest method because it requires no reasons or explanations, making it the best category to avoid involvement in flame wars

    Deserves to win
    This really means you don't know or don't care and are probably just afraid of getting involved in a flame war.. back it up with something or shift over to 'I just like him'

    Most entertaining
    A personal favorite, but this season we didn't have any fun hamsters at all.. Enzo would probably be the favorite here since he provided some comedy (at least before many feedsters inexplicably turned on him).. Lane had a shot here thanks to his banter with Britney, but he's a lousy solo act unless you're a fan of long, long showers and/or masturbation in them

    Played with integrity
    This is a nice pipe dream for optimists and romantics, but not much more: in reality tv, the good tend to die young

    I hate them all equally
    Most feedsters end up here sooner or later

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    Daily Ratings - Final Three edition

    Ratings are based on entertainment value, which is non-existent

    There will be seven jurors voting, but like last year - the first time they left three in the habitat until finale - one of them will be on the downside of his adrenalin rush for the live show, final HOH comp, eviction and interview in Julie's boudoir, and then be handed a question to ask and forced to vote blind for a winner.. even though it probably won't make that much difference this year, it's just wrong in my opinion - that seventh juror isn't privy to any dirt discussed in the jury house these recent weeks, and what kind of jury deliberates first and asks questions later?

    Won: 42" 3D TV; 1 week penguin
    Lost: his clothes
    He's depressed and he sleeps a lot.

    Won: $5,000; Hawaii trip;
    24 18 hours solitary
    WON PART 1
    He's been all loud & perky in Diary all season, but he doesn't bring anything to the feeds.

    Won: $1,091.17; phone call
    WON PART 2
    See Hayden.

    Won: $10,010; 24 15 hrs chained to Brendon; 1 hour with Jessie
    She wasn't volatile like Rachel but she's the Hamsterwatch Star of the Season nonetheless, as well as Most Photogenic - her caps were consistently better than the three pro models. She was a funny mean girl with both Monet & Ragan, and she was quick & witty most of the time including her ongoing Sonny & Cher banter with Lane. She's a living DVR and her convo retells were usually better than the originals while being 100% accurate. She was the last female with six guys and pulled it off well, but she broke down when the Final 3 lowered The Brigade boom.

    Won: $20,000; Veto ticket
    He's one of the most intelligent hamsters we've ever had but he wasn't smart enough to supplement his vast BB knowledge by ever having watched the feeds - if he had, he may have won it all easily. He fulfilled the gay role without being a stereotype, even though he cried, moped around and talked to himself way more than he should have. His friendships with Matt & Britney felt genuine and were fun to watch develop. He talked game and studied far too much but when he went into a skit, nobody could beat him.

    Won: A night in Malibu & massage; shaved head;
    24 15 hrs chum dips chained to Britney
    His showmance with Rachel was the most bizarre we've ever seen since they seemed totally mismatched with zero chemistry, and oddly inexperienced. He was equal parts Ken doll & a boyfriend from 'Pleasantville' and his sensitive side was overwhelmingly sappy. He was a bit better as a solo act but still peculiar as he spewed random out-of-context factoids and 'I have a friend..' stories but he was a good sport about shaving his head & being chained to Britney for green slime dips.

    Won: $1; Diamond Veto
    He pawned himself early but survived that, only to be ousted by the alliance he formed and mentored. His wife's fake illness spread beyond the normally insulated BB world but he brought awareness to melorheostosis (and few care that Dr Will faked cancer ten seasons before). Also like Dr Will, he'll be remembered for duckies strategy sessions, as well as his sparkly falling apart on CBS, footie skull jammies, missing toenails, mysteriously not outing the Brigade, and keeping a hand down his pants.

    Won: Nothing
    She spoiled a lot of early fights by being the peacemaker we didn't need. An early illness laid her low but once she recovered, she didn't bring much to the feeds other than sucking up to whoever was in power. She was the only regular smoker this season, which was an odd juxtaposition with her cancer survival and announced upcoming relapse. She took over fish feeding as well as Hayden's sock monkey, her mascara'd eyelashes had storylines of their own, and she's the first bleached blonde hamster who started off with three weeks' worth of dark roots.

    Won: $5,000; 24 20 hour revival
    The buxom bombshell role and star of the 1st half thanks to her total lack of self-awareness and her adolescent slurpmance with Brendon. She talked up her game but both her HOHs were wasted on non-threats for purely personal reasons. She was chaos, volatility and mood swings deluxe but rarely boring. She'll be remembered for indecipherable blogs, farewells to 4 of 4 who came between her & her man, tacky outfits & tack-on hair, her dysfunctional showmance, and 'I AM VEGAS!'

    Won: $100; 1 week wig & catsuit
    She was barely there the first couple weeks but she came alive and participated in some juicy spats and was the subject of Andrew's scorching exit speech. She was half a showmance with Hayden, wore a silly wig & catsuit for a week, and ate a spider, yet for all this, she still was barely there. She spent most of her time horizontal with Kathy or Hayden, and would only talk with others one-on-one.

    Won: Nothing
    He promised chaos and delivered on that, leaving them and us wondering what he was up to most of the time. He was a good early guess for the staboteur but he WREAKED more HAVOC just by being himself. He was early-to-bed & early-to-rise so I missed a lot of what he did, but he brought some Orthodox education, travel companion/fingerbang stories, and he made lots of threats to make good tv that didn't pan out until his final moments.

    Won: $10,000
    She promised princessy but failed to deliver, opting instead for poor-me tears, complaints about being fat, and a lot of moping around. But she wasn't all doom & gloom: she rode the slip 'n slide and made fun of her keep-warm sleeping layers, and she was Britney's #1 mean girl cohort. She tried out for ANTM and might have fared better there, as they wouldn't have flashed her boobies.

    Won: Nothing
    She turned her nomination into the House of Annie and wheedled everyone for days, to no avail. She promised catfights with Britney and Rachel but nothing came of it, leaving her in the 'Who?' category for future BB trivia, even including her stabotage. She's lucky she went early: she might have cracked bad and the chops would get really brutal.

    Paolo Aviles
    30 - Unemployed real estate agent

    Lucky #14 got away before the season began without any secrets exposed or embarrassing incidents to live forever on the web. Her dirty laundry will remain in the hamper, but boobies fans will be forever disappointed and wonder 'what if?'

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    Hayden: Zzzzz
    Enzo: Zzzzz
    Lane: Zzzzz

    Lane: I'm thinking about taking three showers today - that takes at least an hour.. 'cause I reminisce in the shower.. I love the shower


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    Unreasonable By Any Standard feeds blackouts: 1

    Twist fails: 3
    Staboteur Annie
    Staboteur Ragan
    Excessive use of Pandora's Box

    Hamster revivals: 1 Rachel

    Diamond veto blindsides: 1 Matt

    Pandora's Box events: 4
    Matt, Brendon, Britney, Lane

    Nominee speech scorchers: 1 Andrew

    Makeout/sex event pairings: 2
    Brendon & Rachel
    Hayden & Kristen

    Self-service showers: 8 Lane

    House meetings: 2

    Major fights: 2
    Rachel vs Ragan (Round 2) 8/14
    Brendon vs Ragan & Britney 8/10

    Noteworthy fights: 8
    Rachel vs Britney 8/14
    Rachel vs Ragan (Round 1) 8/14
    Rachel vs Kathy 8/7
    Rachel vs Ragan 8/6
    Andrew vs everyone 7/29
    Rachel vs Kristen 7/29
    Andrew vs Kristen 7/28
    Rachel vs Annie 7/12

    Deaths: 6 fishies

    'The Soup' mentions: 6 of 10 shows
    -Intro & Britney's flaming homosexuals
    -Rachel the waitress chemist
    -Matt's wife's fake illness
    -Kristen's boyfriend & Richard Simmons
      Collection hippytard
    -Ragan's sad sock puppet
    -Ragan's ooey-gooey cookies nominee speech

    TMZ TV mentions: 1
    Rachel being Rachel + Harvey's bored

    'The View' mentions: 1
    -Matt's wife's fake illness

    62nd Annual Emmy Awards mentions: 1
    -Britney's slippery weiner

    Pap smear incidents: 1 Andrew & Annie

    Pre-season connections: 4
    Hayden & BB4/7 Erika
    Rachel & BB2/7 Boogie
    Matt & BB8 Joe
    Enzo & BB2 Justin

    Absentee hamsters: 1 Paolo


    Big Brother 12
    Round 1: BBQ ½, Brendon 0
    Round 2: BBQ 2, Britney 0, Lane 0
    Round 3: BBQ 1, Lane 0, CBS 0

    Big Brother 11
    Round 1: BBQ 0, Jeff 0
    Round 2: BBQ 0, Jeff ½
    Round 3: BBQ ½, Kevin 0, Michele 0
    Big Brother 10
    No title events
    Big Brother 9 Winter Edition
    Round 1: BBQ ½, Ryan 0
    Round 2, BBQ ½, Adam 0
    Round 3, BBQ ½, Ryan 0
    Big Brother 8
    Round 1: BBQ 1, Dick 0
    Round 2: BBQ ½, Zach 0
    Round 3: BBQ 0, Dick 1
    Big Brother 7 All-Stars
    BBQ training sabbatical
    Big Brother 6
    Round 1: BBQ 1, Ivette 0
    Round 2: BBQ 0, Howie 0
    Big Brother 5
    Round 1: BBQ 1, Cowboy 1, Drew 0
    Round 2: BBQ 1, Drew 0, Diane ½
    Round 3: BBQ 1, Cowboy 1, Nakomis 0, CBS 0

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    and other pets. Never put it on or near a television, radio or hi-fi, or a fridge."