Dingo's Hamster Watch - Big Brother 5

"Position the habitat of your hamster somewhere light and airy,
away from drafts, heaters, direct sunlight and other pets.
Never put it on or near a television, radio or hi-fi or a fridge."

This site isn't about who should win, who will win, who I'd be friends with, or who is cute. It's about watching hamsters: which ones are doing what and why. Which are fun and which are dull. If they aren't entertaining, get rid of 'em! More to come, bookmark & come back! .. that dingo

Linkage

Daily feed recaps & opinion ratings navigation tool for this often-biased site
HamsterWatch Big Brother 8 here we go again
HamsterWatch Big Brother 7 Hamster all-stars in the house
HamsterWatch Big Brother 6 time to do it all over again
CBS Big Brother 5 the official site
Housecalls live web show with Marcellas, also archived shows
TV Updates feed updates, screencaps, and fun boards - easy to use and functional!
bb5fan's 30 second refresh screencaps if you don't have feeds (great at work!)
Hollyisms and Cowboyisms and Lisa-isms from me, that dingo person
Sir LinksALot Big Brother 5 all the links
Reality TV Links emphasis on individual hamsters' sites
Aldav has all of the edgier stuff & the best mini-recaps in town (alternate url)
Today's must-click special: Grin's BB5 Park: Day 50 from Jokers
Bonus must-click special: Jase on Regis & Kelly 2nd appearance - bigbrotherupdates.com

8/20/04 - Day 50, part 1 >> to the future >> dwell in the past >> latest
>> skip this - go on to part 2 >> screw that - go right to part 3

Damn skippy

It's a tense day in the habitat.

The totally expected happened
- the twins were nominated -
but all the hamsters treated it like
unexpected, shocking news and
fretted about it all day and night.

Even the arrival of the middle-size table can't shake their worries

Nik and Diane schmooze over beer
Nik can't keep her hand out of her pants between sips

Nik: I don't trust Drew cuz I don't know him well enough..
but he's a Taurus, and I know from being me that Tauruses are trustworthy

Diane sidesteps into the Unflattering Zone for a moment, but she recovers
and makes a curious observation (curious coming from her):

It's never their fault (twins).. it's always someone else's fault
(and, reading the beer label about driving and operating machinery):
Good! I hope it causes lots of health problems.. I'm already crazy

Twins are everywhere - are they cloning themselves in there??

Cowboy (with tanning oil): "Wish i had a woman to rub this on"..
Karen: "They make the competitions so retarded!" (so true)..
Marvin whistles an S.O.S. to a passing plane "Get me outta here!"..
Diane's smashed on one beer and jumps on Drew in mid-nap..

Drew: You're the one that got me in trouble with Will for telling me that shit
Diane: What does that have to do with anything?? That conversation just came outta nowhere.. I was telling you you're cute.. where the hell did that come from??
Drew: Yea, when you told me that before you were saying 'you're cute'
Diane: It doesn't matter anyways, I'm not trying to defend Will's honor if he's not in the house

Posing for snaps with Drew's cheap replacement digicam
(trust me guys, you'll have plenty of pics when you get out..)
Nik and Karen fret some more about vetoes & Marvin & twins over more beer

Marvin continues to demonstrate why he's the better Young & Restless candidate
(hey Marv, is that a tampon under your pillow?)

Get me on there! I'm gonna be Neil Winters' first cousin, that's Christoph St. John..
I'll talk to the show producer William Bell and his son Bill Bell..
Pretty Boy can come on later after Big Brother - he'll be Sharon Collins' estranged boyfriend's brother, you just came to town..
Karen you can be Nicky's sister - this is after the show now! I'll make a couple phone calls, but you gotta put me on it now for that to happen..

....

(he goes on to tell the show biz jobs he'll get for everyone after Big Brother - but only if he wins the soap spot)

Karen.. MILF can be in porno - soft porn..
Ex-stripper can be in Maxim..
Bootylicious twins - one of 'em can go in a fitness magazine, and for the other one an inspirational speaking bullshit thing, Christian network..
Nicodemus, she can prolly draw and do stuff for Rolling Stone magazine..
The Don, let him be an expert asshole commentator.. sit there, be aggravating and get on people's nerves..
Savage, of course we can stick him on Jackass..
Jase.. don't let Jase do nothing - he just gotta sit there and watch us all do our stuff..
Lori can do a Playboy spread for chicks under 5'1", super petite midget kicks..
Will, he can be on Queer Dude for the Straight Thing..
Holly be on the corner selling apples for 4 cents apiece..

..but only if I get on the soap opera!

thanks to attw x for helping to collect Marv's Casting Call

Drew rests up

He's got a busy night ahead of him..
so much that it's the first-ever three-parter HamsterWatch episode

Those hands need to be fully rested and ready to take care of Diane - who is about to wig out. She's saying things like "Who was there when I had my days of leprosy when I was in the cold concrete room?"

It's ok, she'll be in good hands.. get on with it

Faith takes a holiday when it's time to talk really nasty about everyone else, or perform a raunchy incest-flavored lapdance with her sister, or pretend she & Nat are the same person for six weeks (I think that qualifies as a big fat lie, no? a whopper even.) But it's ok - they keep repeating the same convo over & over so it's getting easier to tune them out.

All he's got going for his Young & Restless bid is an earlier start than Marv - and now that the race is really on, he's barely even trying. Seemed pretty down tonight all around - c'mon Cowboy, step it up or give it up.

To Drew: "Yanno what I told God today? That you're the first person, the first guy, that I've ever not lied to." Hmm those twinly gods sure don't pay attention much. But anyone who starts to swear on their heart then pauses to ask "wait, which side is my heart on?" deserves a permanent upgrade. Just two of the many reasons she's the HamsterWatch star of the day! Damn skippy!

In a rare moment of clarity between kisses and fingerpaints he told Diane "My brain, my hormones, I can't think straight because of you!" About time the boy caught on. Just drink your milk Drew, and do what the nice lady says and you won't get hurt. Much.

Between Will's exit and nonstop game talk with anyone and everyone, she's lost a few more marbles (some of the fun ones.) She needs to get back to talking to cameras for our viewing pleasure.

He's working Diane like he's pulling taffy, and he knows that so long as she's the center of attention she'll never notice.. and laugh-out-loud funny while he's doing it! The best all-around hamster since peg-leg Eddie.

The hair, the tats, the piercings, the Garfield pillow.. our token weirdo is driving the powertrip train so hard she should get a downgrade, but she can stay neutral for putting up the Toxic Twins. One day only pass.

"Adria, thank you for revealing to me what I needed to know in this game this week." Yea, that goes for me too. At least one will be gone soon.

A great show Thursday, the tension and drama standing on their own with no assistance necessary (glad they are taking my advice.) Once again they chose to share most of my highlights (and not just the game-pivotal ones - hire me!) A major faux-pas from Julie, announcing Nik as HOH "for the second time in a row".. huh? Hmm, well she gets her info from CBS.com, where Nik as been HOH for the last two weeks. Show highlight: watching all the hamsters do a mini-primp in the DR hallway mirror after voting. P.S. Why food comp tonight - what's planned for them tomorrow? And why o why go to fishies whenever the director tells them to lean this way or burp that way? We know you guys are in there with them, jeesh.