Dingo's Hamster Watch - Big Brother 5

"Position the habitat of your hamster somewhere light and airy,
away from drafts, heaters, direct sunlight and other pets.
Never put it on or near a television, radio or hi-fi or a fridge."

This site isn't about who should win, who will win, who I'd be friends with, or who is cute. It's about watching hamsters: which ones are doing what and why. Which are fun and which are dull. If they aren't entertaining, get rid of 'em! More to come, bookmark & come back! .. that dingo

Linkage

Daily feed recaps & opinion ratings navigation tool for this often-biased site
HamsterWatch Big Brother 8 here we go again
HamsterWatch Big Brother 7 Hamster all-stars in the house
HamsterWatch Big Brother 6 time to do it all over again
CBS Big Brother 5 the official site
Housecalls live web show with Marcellas, also archived shows
TV Updates feed updates, screencaps, and fun boards - easy to use and functional!
bb5fan's 30 second refresh screencaps if you don't have feeds (great at work!)
Hollyisms and Cowboyisms and Lisa-isms from me, that dingo person
Sir LinksALot Big Brother 5 all the links
Reality TV Links emphasis on individual hamsters' sites
Aldav has all of the edgier stuff & the best mini-recaps in town (alternate url)
Today's must-click special: Grin's BB5 Park: Day 69 Adult Content - from Jokers
(Yay, Grins is back! Day 69? one of us is off - probably me)
Bonus must-click special: VH1 Goes Inside Big Brother debuts September 7 - runs all month
Extra must-click special: 10 Tips for Reality Show Contestants from MSNBC

9/6/04 - Day 67 >> to the future >> dwell in the past >> latest

One sick puppy

I hope HamsterWatch readers are aware that when I quote stuff, it's cuz they said it - strange as it usually is - I wish I could make up this kind of crap!

At this point I guess I'm committed to the verbatim thing.. too bad, cuz I can think up a good caption or two for this shot

Note: I didn't pay much attention to them today.. who could?

Diane used the veto - as expected and pinky-sworn - and Nik was forced to put up Karen.. Cowboy is dogging everyone like gum on a shoe

Cowboy: I understand what you had to do
Diane: It's a relationship thing
Diane (to Drew): It's ok, we can talk, it doesn't matter anymore.. Cowboy knows
Diane: I feel like crap

Karen's taking the news pretty well.. for Karen

Her grooming rituals done, Karen heads through the house and down the hall to the clouds.. feeders tremble with anticipation.. will she attack? Is she armed??
pffftt, just a nice civil chat.. Nik tags along so she doesn't miss the fireworks but has to play I Lost Something when there's no blood to be found

Diane has a pre-nap cozy with Drew - Cowboy's there too, of course.. after a typically sentimental and goofy convo, she goes off in half-cocoon mode to nap next-door

Diane: Don't leave me alone today, guys!
Cowboy: I won't, but I don't wanna be called 'the plague' either.. I want this to be as cool as can be.. I trust you more than anything, Diane
Diane: I trust you too
Cowboy: I prayed, and it happened
Diane: That's one good thing I did here, coming up with that plan
Cowboy: Two! You got him!
Diane: I'm soooo lucky
(they go over all the past competitions)
Cowboy: The push button, I woulda won that, but Marvin stepped down
Cowboy: Sending Karen in to come get Diane to come talk to her (last night), that's chickenshit way to get her
dingo: he was guarding her from exactly that! jeesh

Cowboy: I remember this one time at camp..

(I swear he said that! He goes on to tell a long, long story..)

Cowboy: Diane? I'm horny

Outside, the other team grumbles over their betrayal, and practices future Kick You Out speeches they know they'll never get to say.. a short lockdown revives euchre..

and then.. Karen makes lunch

Run for the border

Here comes one of the finest segments to ever go out on the feeds..
Bonus double-ups to the camera operator on duty: HamsterWatch star of the day!
He or she deserves a big fat raise

Karen tells them she'll go make lunch.. (like 6-year-olds at play, they assume she would).. she heads inside muttering under her breath "Ok, kid food coming up"

She sets out her ingredients and starts chopping tomatoes.. chop chop chop..
she moves from side to side - blocking our view, as if she can feel us watching -
the camera dude-person runs from window to window, ever regaining a clear view..
chop chop chop.. pan up to the euchre crowd through the window.. chop chop chop.. close-up of her knife.. chop chop chop.. back to euchre-ers.. chop chop chop
back and forth in a sequence that would have made Hitchcock proud

She adds onions.. chop chop chop.. hmm what else do we have? Olives!.. chop chop
we can hear the wheels turning in her head as we pan back to euchre - and Drew, who'd first shown Diane that his feelings were true by eating a dreaded olive.. chop chop
(Drew had told Diane he wouldn't eat vomit - like Jase would for Holly - but he ate an olive for her - which he detests - when he realized what a blunder that line had been)

Chop chop chop.. meat goes on the stove - she glances at us once as it browns.. oh, the tension! Will she poison Drew with olives or won't she??

She reads the box again.. adds water.. adds the tomatoes and onions.. and holds back the olives! Feeders are a little disappointed.. but then she takes it all off the stove and stirs them in!! Pour over chips, sprinkle with cheese, bake.. "Lunch is ready"

They dig in - they love it! Karen doesn't have any but she watches.. (I think I saw
a hint of a sly grin, that she was suppressing with this sip.. I could be wrong)

Drew: Wow
Diane: Karen, it looks so awesome!
Drew: Taco Bell needs to start taking notes!

Karen tells them what's in it - she mentions the olives - they all keep eating, even Drew.. they rarely listen to her anyway

Nakomis entertains everyone over lunch with amusing anecdotes about pet care

Nik:
Parvovirus is really bad, it eats away at the intestinal linings.. they have diarrhea and vomiting.. (she describes it in detail)..
You know those little Boston terriors with the bug-eyes? You can pop their eyes out if you squeeze them right.. I've seen it happen.. (she describes it in detail)..
I babied Grrr through parvo - I think I can baby him through neutering ok

In a fluke of good timing for all - them and us - Drew breaks the oven just as Nik pauses to shovel a bite

Drew: There's smoke coming out of here!
Nik (singsong voice): Drew broke the microwave!
Drew: I put it on convection? It said something about griddle? I didn't do anything different
(Karen investigates, and fixes it by pulling out a piece of plastic)

Another nap for the new power trio.. remember Diane saying a few days ago "If Adria asks where her chapstick is one more time, I'll kill her!"

Diane: Where's my damn chapstick? There it is.. Drew, put on your hat.. show me how you wear your hat

Sshhh now everyone's asleep, taking advantage of inside lockdown.. in yet another WTF moment, footsteps are heard clearly on the feeds - several times - Karen even wakes up, then goes outside (huh? it's lockdown!).. Nik joins her shortly and dispenses some sisterly love.. Diane justifies another decision by slightly revising history, and maybe slightly revising plans too

Nik: If I have to listen to him (Cowboy) anymore, I'm going to rip! my! face! OFF!!!
Nik: Blood can take over water, but his blood has been watered down with grain alcohol
....
Diane (about Karen, holding up pinky): Girl, I never gave you this! Never! And I promise you, the vote will be unanimous! And it not, it'll be a tie
Diane: I feel like it's wrong.. (they count the votes again).. 2nd would be ok.. maybe we should just get rid of him

Nik continues pouring on the charm.. Karen & Diane compare notes on weight gain..
Cowboy tries to relive last night's BBQ3 SmackDown victory, but it isn't the same with underdone pork.. or those shorts

Nik: If you could have either a third eye or a third asshole, which one would you have?
....
Diane: I'm chunky now
Karen: I'm squishy.. those can be our new nicknames
Cowboy: This could be my last week here, let's not talk about fat
Cowboy: I'm horny, Drew
Drew: Ok
Diane: Are you serious?
Cowboy: Yea, I have been for a few days
Diane: Imagine being me & Drew
Cowboy: Aww shit! Blue balls hurts!

I came in on this just as Drew was towel-snapping someone - I assumed it was Diane..
Karen and Cowboy take their Thursday places

dingo: even I'm not going to quote this Karen/Cowboy convo.. you had to be there.. urp

Let me help you with that

Drew decides to do a shadow puppet show for Diane at bedtime (foreplay).. Cowboy steps in to help.. Drew wants to see how it looks too.. ahh romance!

Cowboy climbs into bed with Drew & Diane, and then with Karen.. once he goes back home to the wood room Karen announces she's putting in her earplugs - like she's always said - then she lays there wide awake, listening as the happy couple gloats about what they've pulled off, how great they are, and how sucky Nakomis & Karen are.. like she's always listened to them, all those kissy-kissy-jerky-jerky nights, just like we have

What are we gonna do about this guy? Fresh off yesterday's stunning BBQ3 SmackDown victory, he turns back into the creepy annoying pest today that nobody can escape. It's pretty bad when someone says they are going to rip their face off if he talks to them anymore.. but understandable too. Loyal to his horsey-bro til the bitter end - and I do mean bitter - even he should have known better than to make a deal with Diane.. she's about an inch away from de-pinkifying him and sending him off to leer at the twins on the beach. But just when you want to duct-tape his mouth shut and lock him in the pantry, the rest of them treat him so horribly that you can't help but feel for him. Neutral is as neutral does.

Remember the tough chick Diane used to be? The girl who cussed at least twice in every sentence and couldn't put everyone down fast enough? She's history: now we've got Diane-In-Love: the Stepford Twin of her former self. She's even asking Cowboy to 'protect' her - it's that bad. Today she told Drew she wouldn't mind 2nd place <choke> and she turned down booze tonight! Need I say more? She's probably packing on all that weight to test his love for her.. no need, Diane, he wouldn't keep you around even if you get back to your old anorexic weight (although the chunky thing isn't helping - he likes 'em bony.) Now she's thinking about doubling back on the latest pinky swear and double-crossing Cowboy again: she wants Drew to see that she can be true to her word after all. Ha!

Drew's nights in the house started with watching Jase & Scott buddy baths, to sleeping with Scott, to passionless motionless half-hour kisses with Diane as she cussed him out, to passionless motionless half-hour kisses with Diane as she jerked him off, to badgering her for hours over nothing, to realizing he's playing a high-stakes psychological game (in the 7th or 8th week). And now this: 'look at my weenie' shadow puppet theater to amuse his lady-love at bedtime. Again, this can't be preferable for Mom & Dad watching at home over fun, healthy, ordinary sex! What a weenie.

She took her nomination well on the surface, but we know she's seething about it, especially since she's getting a backdoor ticket to paradise. Ironic, since she probably came up with the whole backdoor concept to start with. She's got weeks worth of dirt on Diane & Drew - game and not-game - from eavesdropping in the clouds at night, and I can't figure out why she's not using it. I like to think that she's saving it up, or that she really isn't as vicious as she's been portrayed after all.. maybe she just isn't as good at all this espionage business as I hope she is, but I'm not ready to concede that yet. Kudos for an excellent lunch experience and for another no-earplugs night, but they aren't enough to nudge her back up to ups.

We have a new meltdown candidate and the countdown has begun. The angrier she gets at the double-crossing that's inevitably part of the game, the weirder her mealtime stories get. Today for lunch it was parvovirus, intestinal linings, and eyeballs being squeezed out of dogs. Yum! She also talked about how her dog always comes to sit by her when she cries.. hmm.. she cries? How many beers is it gonna take to keep that buried over the next week? More than it has so far - she'll be on her own in there soon! (Must be why she's playing solitaire all the time: practicing up.) I wouldn't be surprised if Nik stashed away tonight's unused booze delivery here & there around the house.. for later. She works so hard at being freaky and shocking, but none of them are freaked or shocked by it.. she should just settle down and try being herself - we'd all like to find out who that is.

Where to begin? I saw the Thursday and Saturday shows back to back (same way they happened!) and both felt like moving-picture versions of this site.. how can that be? Dozens of cameras and mics, seven people (the two evictions were too recent to count), hundreds of convos that boards all over town are picking apart word by word.. but CBS just happened to air most of the same scenes and dialogue that I've posted here? Again? And not just pivotal game events. Hmm I think at the very least that deserves a job offer of some sort. The huge downer of not giving us Marvin's farewells cancels out the big ups for finally showing some of the Drew & Diane train wreck for what it (almost) really is. Skipping the faux-drama of Drew's nomination angst (the scoffable 'internet treat') as he stared dramatically at the keys and the key box - awaiting stage direction - was a good move cuz we're still laughing from watching it 'live', and while Marvin's pot-shots at Ad/Nat were justified, they made him look petty since CBS never hinted at how bad the toxic twins' marathon venom sessions were. Letting Natalie's comparing Will to Charlie Manson slip through was a nice mini-demo of what they're capable of though (Will?? as Manson??? jeesh!) Finally, is it just me, or did Julie's not-live 'live' Saturday show feel different? Like she was acting differently knowing it wasn't really live? Maybe just subliminal on my part (although being a westie, it's never truly live here) but at one point I was doing something else while she was yapping away, and something about the tone of her voice made me look up at the tv to see what was going on.. it just didn't sound right. All told, a resounding neutral.