Dingo's Hamster Watch - Big Brother 5

"Position the habitat of your hamster somewhere light and airy,
away from drafts, heaters, direct sunlight and other pets.
Never put it on or near a television, radio or hi-fi or a fridge."

This site isn't about who should win, who will win, who I'd be friends with, or who is cute. It's about watching hamsters: which ones are doing what and why. Which are fun and which are dull. If they aren't entertaining, get rid of 'em! More to come, bookmark & come back! .. that dingo

Linkage

Daily feed recaps & opinion ratings navigation tool for this often-biased site
HamsterWatch Big Brother 8 here we go again
HamsterWatch Big Brother 7 Hamster all-stars in the house
HamsterWatch Big Brother 6 time to do it all over again
CBS Big Brother 5 the official site
Housecalls live web show with Marcellas, also archived shows
TV Updates feed updates, screencaps, and fun boards - easy to use and functional!
bb5fan's 30 second refresh screencaps if you don't have feeds (great at work!)
Hollyisms and Cowboyisms and Lisa-isms from me, that dingo person
Sir LinksALot Big Brother 5 all the links
Reality TV Links emphasis on individual hamsters' sites
Aldav has all of the edgier stuff & the best mini-recaps in town (alternate url)
Today's must-click special: Grin's BB5 Park: Days 62-68 from Jokers
Bonus must-click special: VH1 Goes Inside Big Brother airs September 7 & all month

9/5/04 - Day 66 >> to the future >> dwell in the past >> latest

Is that a new necklace Cowboy?

Cowboy has a new team to follow..
he follows and follows and follows

It's one of the more tedious days in the hamster cage, which is odd, since it's one of the more pivotal days.. Last night's badgering about the BBQ is all but forgotten.. Diane wins the veto

Cowboy hands out the rest of Marvin's Sociables, and tells Diane & Drew about his necklace: his & April's dating anniversary, got it at Six Flags, etc. and so on - you can imagine - they barely feign interest either.. Diane's calling him Michael now.. D&D pull themselves apart to switch beds, but first she tucks him in for his nap

Drew: Guys like to have scars
Diane: You know what I hated most about Adria..
Drew: Dude, I bet we just grossed out the camera guys

The fishies are more interesting: one shark is more lethargic than usual.. the little fishie with the surprised look has some sort of interspecies sex with it while the others float by and laugh.. even the little pinky one who normally attacks the camera (when he isn't being eulogized) is bored, or maybe hiding out.. the symbolism is overwhelming

Nik: One of the sharks keeps burying his head in the sand

Nik plays solitaire while sleeping beauties sleep.. uh-oh Diane's up - tension builds and fishies hide.. Diane's really sticking to that diet!.. Nik takes her best shot

Nik: So how does it feel to be a veto holder twice in a row?
Diane (through chips 'n dip): I feel so stupid! I can't believe I forgot <whatever>

dingo: sorry, I just can't deal with the silly competition details anymore

Karen emerges from wherever she's been, and Cowboy joins the festivities

Karen: That's a cool necklace, have you worn that before?
Diane: That's what I said this afternoon
(Cowboy takes us back to Six Flags and the lovely April again)
Karen: Did you wear it with a shirt before? Like underneath?
Cowboy: I've worn it, til Production told me to take it off
Karen: Oh, it clanks
....
Diane: We can get drunk tonight
Karen: Do you have any left over?
Nik: Technically we didn't drink last night
....
Nik: So tonight we get to talk about the veto in Diary
Karen: 'I got locked in, Cowboy let me out, I didn't win..' what else can I say?
Nik: Tonight when we're drunkards, we should play cut-throat
Diane: What??
Nik: That golf game

Barbecue Death Match III

This innocent-looking gas grill has been the source of two previous HamsterWatch highlights of the BB5 season.. here goes number three

(they use the tongs and flipper they bought at Amazon.com for all grilling events - you can too!)

Time: 4.20
Cowboy makes an offer he would live to regret, if he was anyone else

Cowboy: Should we cook these steaks on the grill?
Karen: They were great last night
Cowboy: Nakomis did a great job
Karen: That first barbecue you did was great, Cowboy.. maybe it runs in the family
Cowboy: Should I add wooo-shy-er sauce and garlic salt?
dingo: he's come a long way from why-whist-cherry

Time: 4.30
Cowboy says he'll slow-cook the steaks, like Marvin showed him.. Nik says her restaurant sears & turn thems, diamonds form, etc.. Cowboy heads out to the grill

Karen: I'll do the inside, you guys do the outside.. I really liked eating outside last night
Cowboy: They should be done in about 2 hours

Time: 4.31
Nik is seriously perturbed.. Drew comes out from a nap, oblivious to any tension about secret veto deals or grill times.. but even he catches on

Nik: Oh no! He's putting my medium steak on with his well-done steak!!
Drew: I woke up choking on my own saliva
Diane: I don't want to wait two hours!
Nik: I want mine medium!!
Karen: All $50 worth of steaks, ruined
(they all keep moaning about it.. Cowboy's outside grilling away)
Nik: Diane, go ask him.. when I did, he just said 'Marvin said..'
(Nik goes on & on about grilling times, techniques, diamonds, etc.)
Diane: Drew, go tell him
Nik: Drew, your steak is out there, it's probably done by now
Drew: Oh well

Time: 4.45
Drew and Diane sneak off for a quick kiss 'n cuddle.. he tells her "I have a half boner" and goes back to the kitchen, where they all continue bitching about Cowboy

Time: 5.00
Karen sends Drew out to check on Cowboy

Karen: Be gentle, he's being the provider
(Drew asks him about the 'banana boat'.. they set off to search for something, together.. they can't find it anywhere)
Cowboy: I'll go ask about it in Diary Room
(Cowboy heads inside.. Drew looks in the outside cabinet)
Drew: Here it is! Shit!
Drew (into mic): Hey Cowboy, I found it! If you're listening to me.. Big Brother, tell him I found it

Time: 5.05
Drew puts lotion on himself and talks game - not steaks - it's like bad gay porn:
Drew's Half Boner, Some Lotion, and the Cowboy

Cowboy: Nakomis will be mad at me too (about their veto plan), she put my ass on the block to get rid of me this week
Drew: Nakomis won't have your back
Cowboy: She tried to put me up this week dude!
Drew: Don't worry
Cowboy: I'm more worried if it'll come true next week (Diane's promise).. I told Diane I'd come check with her
Drew: Diane's the kind of girl, she'll get going about something, and she'll think about it
Cowboy: Kinda like you
Drew: A lot like me

Time: 5.10
Cowboy asks Drew to go get Nakomis so she can check her steak

Cowboy: I cooked them a little faster.. I think they're done.. that far one still has a little blood in it..
Nik: Yea, they're done
Cowboy: That farthest one would be the one you'd want I think, it's still pink.. they look good
Nik: Yea! They turned out pretty well

Time: 5.15
Steaks are done - nothing else is.. Diane has a rushed meeting with Cowboy in the pantry/conference center

Karen: We can keep them warm in the oven
Nik: Maybe we can put them back on the grill for a minute
....
Cowboy: I think I need to tell them I'm saving Drew, should I? .. whose shirt is this?
Diane: Is it Will's? Aww, I'll take it to him
Cowboy: I really appreciate this (veto deal)
Diane: I just feel things in my gut, I do what I gotta do

Time: 7.00
They sit down together to a mostly-silent dinner outside

Cowboy: This is my first time doing steaks, I apologize if it's not how y'all like them
Karen: It's the thought that counts
Diane: We can split Cowboy's wine
Cowboy: That's some nasty shit

Barbecue Death Match series scorecard:
BBQ3 SmackDown: Cowboy 1, Nakomis 0, Barbecue 1
BBQ2 Parannoyer: Drew 0, Diane ½, Barbecue 1
BBQ1 Initiation: Cowboy 1, Drew 0, Barbecue 1

After dinner they mope around the hot tub and mope around the fire - all pretending they don't miss Marvin as much as we do - and all pretending they aren't waiting to talk to each other privately about veto-veto-veto

Booze delivery doesn't even excite them anymore.. the only happy hamster is Diane, who seems to think she's got what she thinks she wants.. Drew has a quick solo toga party, and then phones home

dingo: actually I think this is when he said he has a half boner - like it matters.. we already saw it
Drew: Love ya Mom, Dad (with sign language, after a lengthy time in the toilet)

After hours of threatening livid, Nik finally just asks Drew if he wants to be saved with the veto.. he says "Uhhh"... Karen worries.. Drew has a little fire problem - Nik fixes it

Drew: I guess.. I.. well sure.. I'd like to stay
Nik: I'd rather see Cowboy go than you.. but what if I have to put up Karen, who would you vote for?

Drew: I don't know why Nakomis just did that to me, it pissed me off! It's like she's attacking me.. she's like if nobody's in her little alternative world, fuck them.. that was like Adria or Natalie style, she just attacked me
Diane: I told Nakomis 'I don't know if I'm going to keep him, I made two promises in this game: one to you, and one to him.. it's a trust thing, a relationship thing..'
Drew: The way I see it, things change.. I will be there for you, I promise.. why are you scared?
Diane: I don't know.. somebody I liked stopped talking to me

Diane: I think you could get away with sleeping with me tonight - just sleeping - if you want
Diane: I just can't stand lying to people! I have to lie and it makes me feel so bad!
Diane: Karen's had a free ride through this game, never taken a risk, never did anything

Diane had asked Cowboy to stick around her to keep Karen & Nik away.. then resents him always being around.. everyone's resenting Cowboy always being around..

Suddenly Drew goes for the I Love You strategy.. and it works!

Cowboy: I just called you Ben! Ha ha ha ha
Drew: I do love you, you know
Diane: Are you my boyfriend now?
....
Drew: Chinese.. Japanese.. oops! Guess I shouldn't do that on tv
Diane: I think I'm gonna get my period in a couple days, probably tonight

Cowboy: What'd you tell her?
Drew: A bunch of bullshit

We've never seen Drew be like this before! They pose for us (which was kinda creepy).. Diane keeps asking about their future, how often they'll see each other, when's their first date.. Drew deflects and doesn't give her any specifics

Go to the hole, Cowboy

The whole night is a lot of he said/she said/I wish he'd say/I wish she hadn't said.. they all hate each other and they all hate Cowboy most of all

Nik & Karen figure out why Cowboy's been especially irritating today, and are not pleased.. they talk badly about the other three - "Stoo-ey" in particular - the other three are doing the same about them.. it goes on and on.. rewind, repeat

After everyone goes to bed, Karen visits Diane.. Diane visits Nik.. Diane tells them both about Drew's "natural reaction" method of nominating her, and how Drew "attacked" her last night, and that she needs to show him that he can trust her..

Diane tells Cowboy to "go to the hole" and fills him in whenever anything needs filling.. Diane tries to talk future and Drew tries to talk tomorrow.. he's thinking with his other head now that Mom & Dad are watching, and only takes about an hour to figure out the players in the current scenario.. they skip the half-hour kisses and hand-jiving tonight

Drew: This game has taught me how to compartmentalize my thoughts.. I thank you for showing me that

Diane: When we get out, when we go to Walmart, that'll be so weird!
Drew: They'll be more happy to see you than me
Diane: They'll be so happy to see us together! .. 'Oh God they're together! They're still together!'

Diane: So you wanna go ahead and lie about it?
Drew: If I'm supposed to trust them.. if they're assuring me I'm sooo safe, here's the thing.. shit.. I forget

Diane: I can't believe I'm 22 years old and dating a guy 3 months, and never slept with him
Drew: It's better that way, if any kind of sexual relations get involved.. it messes things up.. well, and it's just not right

He was such a drip today, he really deserves a hands-down negative: he spent the day following his new pinky pair like a magnet and boring everyone to death with his story reruns. But they all treated him very badly during the barbecue incident du jour - and thought he was too dumb to realize it (which he wasn't).. I'm giving him a sympathy upgrade to neutral. He's a dweeb, and he snitches cuz he doesn't know how to be sneaky.. but he's got eyes and ears. They keep stomping on his feelings thinking he's too dumb to have any.. he just might take the whole thing. I don't think I'd mind at this point if he does.

Gotta hand it to her again: she said she'd win it, and she did - with a little help from her pony boys - but she got them to throw it her way, so it counts. Diane was a changed woman today: all that aggression from Drew really put her in her place, and she likes it there. She's positively swoony since her big man on campus sealed the L-word with a kiss, and she even explained away Drew's fun games of Attack And Make You Cry to her pinky sisters as him being 'scared' and 'not trusting her'.. typical patterns once again, protecting him and his behavior cuz he kisses her in daylight now. Romeo and Juliet? Nah, these two are Taming of the Shrew. Maybe one of her gal-pals will toss her a link to some dominance & submission sites when she gets out - she's a natural - but she really should read up on the bits about defined and consensual. Heaven help AOL's member rooms when Diane hits them.

All signs point down for the new default alpha male, who's really coming into his own after beating down the 'evil bitch' and getting her to fetch his towels for him. He really likes the feeling of knowing he can badger her into submission, and he's grown about 2 inches since scary Marvin left. Whispered 'I love you's' to Mom & Dad in the bathroom mirror aside, Drew almost acted like an adult today - weighing past & future lies against $500k - and finally figuring out who some of the players in this game are. Consensus among internet fans is running about 99.9% that he has no real feelings for Diane, but he said he does, and that's what matter. So why the neutral? For announcing his 'half-boner' and then wagging it around Cowboy's ear for the next half hour, and avoiding the steak grilling confrontation he was sent out to do in the first place. (If it was anyone else, that'd be double-ups worthy for sure.)

Karen let me down today.. all that intuition I've been giving her credit for, understanding human nature, etc. went by the wayside somehow. Granted, she knew something was up, but it took her forever to figure out she was about to be shanghai'd by her pinky sister Diane with the McTinclock kid and fratboy in tow. All these weeks Karen's been working on her equals & betters in the manipulation racket (and give her credit, they're all gone) but she left the zany kids too long unattended and now they're rising up to get her. I'm surprised she didn't use any of the personal dirt she has on D&D to her advantage - she may yet - but she may be playing the non-vicious game I've been giving her credit for after all. Her critics cheered her 'meltdown' tonight (kick 'em when they're down!) but she didn't cry or freak out as expected - she was just angry and whiny and feeling betrayed. Understandable.

Another big talker who doesn't follow through, Nik turned passive-aggressive behavior into an art form today. She had a hissy fit about a steak and bitched about it to everyone but the guy at the grill; she whined that she couldn't get near Diane to talk to her cuz of her guard-puppy Cowboy ('hey Diane can I talk to you' is that difficult?) and she just about blew a gasket talking about becoming livid all over again. But she gets another neutral, cuz she did risk life and limb to just come out and ask Drew 'Do you want the veto to be used on you?' and cuz I can't be bothered to change the arrow.

Where to begin? I saw the Thursday and Saturday shows back to back (same way they happened!) and both felt like moving-picture versions of this site.. how can that be? Dozens of cameras and mics, seven people (the two evictions were too recent to count), hundreds of convos that boards all over town are picking apart word by word.. but CBS just happened to air most of the same scenes and dialogue that I've posted here? Again? And not just pivotal game events. Hmm I think at the very least that deserves a job offer of some sort. The huge downer of not giving us Marvin's farewells cancels out the big ups for finally showing some of the Drew & Diane train wreck for what it (almost) really is. Skipping the faux-drama of Drew's nomination angst (the scoffable 'internet treat') as he stared dramatically at the keys and the key box - awaiting stage direction - was a good move cuz we're still laughing from watching it 'live', and while Marvin's pot-shots at Ad/Nat were justified, they made him look petty since CBS never hinted at how bad the toxic twins' marathon venom sessions were. Letting Natalie's comparing Will to Charlie Manson slip through was a nice mini-demo of what they're capable of though (Will?? as Manson??? jeesh!) Finally, is it just me, or did Julie's not-live 'live' Saturday show feel different? Like she was acting differently knowing it wasn't really live? Maybe just subliminal on my part (although being a westie, it's never truly live here) but at one point I was doing something else while she was yapping away, and something about the tone of her voice made me look up at the tv to see what was going on.. it just didn't sound right. All told, a resounding neutral.