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Old 07-31-2017, 06:09 am
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7/26/17 Jessica Graf HOH Blog

Hey Big Brother fans!

Iím touching a computer for the first time in over a month [and] Iím a little rusty, so try not to judge me too harshly! I love that I get a platform to talk to you guys while Iím still in the house playing the game. Very cool!

I want to start by thanking everyone again who took time out of their lives to vote for me for the final temptation. I donít think you realize how much it meant to me and it was honestly one of the coolest things that has ever happened to me!

That week was very difficult for me and I was trying so hard to not fall apart. Having to wear an embarrassing outfit for a week is part of BB tradition and Iím actually happy that I got to experience it.

However, eating on the floor around people who donít like you is extremely degrading and a feeling I have never experienced. Needless to say, I am very happy that that week is over and I have my partner-in-crime back!

Cody and I are now very grateful for that awful week because it really woke us up to how we should be playing this game. It also showed us how strong we can be as a team, because when we first started falling for each other we decided to keep our games separate from our emotions. That is not the case anymore.

We became one team and weíre a lot stronger because of it. Receiving that final temptation gave us the safety we needed for Cody to come back into the game. The week he was gone I spent doing damage control with everyone in the house.

And, that damage control was vital to our future success in this game. We know if we want to survive to the end we need numbers behind us. Things are not perfect yet, but I think we have gained more trust this week now that we are in power and we stood by the promises we made to people.



Codyís Battle Back was epic! I prayed every minute of every day that the Battle Back competition would be something BB would bring back for this season. When Julie announced it to the house, it took everything out of me to not jump out of my skin! The last thing I wanted was to get my hopes up!

I missed Cody so much and had he not won, it would have broken my heart. I voted for Paul because I know my man. If he was going to fight his way back into this house, he wouldnít want it handed to him! (Part of the reason I love that boy ) A vet vs. a vet is the showdown he would have wanted.

And, winning against Paul, the person who back-doored him out of this game, made victory that much more sweet!

STREAM: Jessica Wins HOH In Episode 13 Of Big Brother Season 19

Cody won THREE comps that day! So it was my pleasure to bring home the win for HOH that same night. NOW, I wonít lie.

The entire time I was up there I was cursing in my head and contemplating telling everyone I had the final temptation and if they wanted to take a shot at Cody and I this week then bring it on! But, I kept pushing through and told myself to hold out just a little bit longer.

4am that morning marked the anniversary of my fatherís passing. Three years to the day. I prayed for his strength throughout the comp. Watching BB with my dad every summer growing up is a big memory for me.

So, thank you everyone at CBS who helped me get here. I would love to say that it is a dream come true, but honestly, I never dreamed Iíd be here because it was something that seemed so unobtainable. So thank you!! Itís very cool to be able to talk about my dad and have his photos on the show. I know that wherever he is, heís smiling!



The sun coming up at the end of that competition was also very symbolic for me. Cody and I had been in a dark place in this house the past few weeks and it just felt like the dawn of a new era. Not to mention the look of pride on Codyís face when I won is something Iíll never forget.

Itís important to me that people see him and I as equals and teammates. Iím not in this house to live in anyoneís shadow or ride anyoneís coattails. I hope we can continue to be a power couple in this game and I especially hope that itís fun for you guys to watch and we can continue to surprise you!

Also, I want to give huge props to Christmas in that comp! The girl has 10 broken bones in her foot and she gave me a serious run for my money!

Weíve had a lot of differences in this game but remember, her and I WERE friends when this game started. Itís nice that weíve gotten past mistakes we have both made and that we are able to enjoy each otherís company again.

With that being said, I do want to touch on the verbal argument her and I got into immediately after Jillianís eviction. Her speech honestly caught me by surprise. I had tried to have a few conversations with her the days leading up to live eviction but was met only with passive aggressive hostility, so I dropped it.

If she had such an issue with me, I feel it should have been discussed prior.

I thought it was cowardly that she waited until a live show, when I canít speak, to drag my name through the mud. That was why I got so defensive.

Iím a strong believer in standing up for yourself and what you believe in and I donít agree with how she handled that. But again, her and I have come a long way and Iím curious to see where this game takes our friendship.

WATCH: Jess Gets Choked Up Talking About The Impact Of Her Father



Next up, since weíre talking about cowardly things, Josh. (Can I once again say how cool it is that I get to tell you guys all of my thoughts! Lol, ok back to it.) I have never met someone who apologizes and then immediately contradicts said apology so much!

I really thought that once Cody left the house that the kid would calm down and stop attacking me. I was wrong.

I donít know how much you guys have seen, but Paul is literally giving Josh lessons on "How to be a MAN." Thatís not a joke. That is a real thing that goes on every day.

On Day 2 he attacked Megan, which was unwarranted, and then since her departure [he] has attacked me. Over it. I hope he goes home and does some serious growing up.

When I get out of this glorious place, I do plan on watching each and every episode of the season and blogging to what was going on in my head when situations went down, and also what I think about things I didnít know was happening. Should be interesting!

One last shoutout to my momma! Mom, I hope youíre not too worried! Iím doing my best and I hope youíre proud! Iíll see you when all this is said and done, and weíll have a nice laugh over some very strong drinks xoxo

Finally, if there are any more things to vote on this season, PLEASE KEEP VOTING! You guys have the power to change the outcome of this game and trust me, all of us in here appreciate your votes! Hope Iím making all of you proud!

Ciao Bella,
Jessica
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Old 08-09-2017, 03:37 pm
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Josh HOH Blog 8/9/17

Whatís up familia,



Your boy is the HOH for the week and it feels real good. Half of these meatballs did not know what hit them, lol.

Itís Day 49 in the house and if you would have asked me if I would have made it past Week 1 I would have said no shot. Now that I think of it, the golden apple at the time was a curse because it was part of me being isolated so soon, but it turned out to be a huge blessing.

Thanks to that golden apple I made it to jury, lol. JURY, guys. I was the first confirmed Houseguest to be in Jury for some other houseguest they confirmed their spot week one because they have played it safe the past six weeks... not mentioning no names, but yeah, Matt, that big meatball knew he was going to Jury, but for your boy it has not been easy as I am sure you all have seen, but if I didnít play it safe the first half. You better believe I wonít play it safe for the rest of the game.



Now, letís talk about my gameplay and position in this house the past six weeks because I know it may seem I have been all over the place. I came into this house wanting to align myself with loyal and honest players. I know this game is about manipulation and lying, which I am down for, but as long as I found a solid team, I would be loyal and honest to them and play the rest of the house.

Well, I ended up finding loyal genuine people that were on two sides of the house. Jason, I instantly knew I wanted to work with him in this game. I saw that he was a good family man and was trustworthy, and instantly locked in with him. And Kevin, oh man, my boy Kevin. Lol. I love that guy. Heís playing his own game but I know he has my back and being the outsiders since Day 1 bonded us more.

READ: Josh Putt-Putts The Houseguests In Their Place On Big Brother

He has no idea how much I appreciate him and how he has helped me in this house even though I know I drove him crazy, lol. Heís like my house dad, but we all know Kevin is Kevin and is playing his own game. As long as he has my back, I got his, but I also made it clear to him that I was on his side.

Then, we have Paul and Christmas. These two were in a huge alliance Week 1, but I built an instant friendship with both of them then. When Paul walked in, I knew he was somebody I wanted to work with because of who he is as a person and what he stands for. I watched last season and respected how loyal he played the game, so even though a majority of the house was threatened by him, I knew I wanted to work with him right off the bat.



And, Christmas, she has empowered me, checked me, and has helped me so much in this game since Day 1. As soon as I walked in, I gravitated towards her, which is crazy how it played out, and in our room Week 1, said we would look out for each other and have each otherís back, and thatís how it has been ever since.

So I found myself playing the middle for a while between the outsiders and this huge alliance that was formed. Being in this position, playing the middle and being isolated, gave me a really good insight into peopleís gameplay character and just instantly spotted out all the shady meatballs, lol.

So I had Christmas giving me information about this huge alliance plan each week and the order of elimination for each Houseguest, which was funny, but I also had a bond with all the outsiders, so even though to many it seemed like I was a floater or not strong competitor from being a big fan of the show, I knew a huge split was coming between that big alliance, so I had to let the outsiders know to stay calm and just let it play out.



Itís funny how it all worked out because now, mi familia, your boy is HOH and all these meatballs that have played it safe are scattering being really paranoid and losing their minds, lol. Finally, I feel in a really good position in this house.

Paul and Christmas have seen my loyalty to them and that I have their back no matter what, but also the house has seen that I am a loyal honest person and theyíre starting to enjoy having the kid around the BB streets, lol.

Moving forward, Iím going to continue having the backs of the people that have been there with me since Day 1 and have shown me loyalty. And the rest of these meatballs... they played themselves because itís game on baby.



Real quick to my family and the fans, I say this all the time but I am living the dream. Big Brother has been the best experience and I wake up every morning loving every singe minute of it. Being a huge fan of the show and not being able to talk about it with other Houseguests to not put a bigger target on my back has been part of my strategy, but just know your boy knows what heís doing and I know the game better than half of these meatballs.

Yeah, you guys have seen the crazy, emotional, and hot-headed side of me but also the loyal, loving, and kind man that I am. But now, familia, you guys are going to see the game player.



Itís been real fun and a message to all the fans is, being underestimated, looked at as a weak competitor, and a floater is a huge advantage. Never let nobody, especially a pack of meatballs, see how smart you really are.

Mi Familia, itís been real. Hopefully I will win HOH soon and I can ramble a bit more, lol.





Sincerely,


Josh
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Old 08-23-2017, 06:58 pm
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Christmas HOH Blog 8/23/17

Hello World!!!

First, THANK YOU for all of your love and support during my recovery process with my broken (shattered) foot. I actually just received my boot TODAY and am making great progress.

Six weeks down and about six more to go until I am fully walking again. Obviously this route was NOT what I had planned for my Big Brother experience but it seems to be a blessing in disguise.

Although I am not cleared for most physical competitions, I am giving it my all in anything that I can and I hope that the world can see that. I have a great team that I am supporting and that are supporting me. I now truly believe that we can make it to the Finals, the misfits that we are!

When I broke my foot, any thoughts of being in the Finals were shattered with my break but I refused to quit and kept moving forward no matter what, trying to get as far as I possibly could. I wanted to show America and the world that no matter what hand you are dealt in life, you can control your experience and influence your outcome.

I wanted to show everyone that it IS possible to do extraordinary things, especially as the underdog. Now, being the first confirmed to Top 8Ö I am sitting in a position to possibly be TOP THREE! It simply goes to show what not giving up can do.



My housemates are really special people. They each have their own personality and flair they add to the house makeup. I am especially grateful for two.

Josh has seen my badass side since Day 1, but he also saw how much I wanted to help him get through his hard start. He truly cares about people and sees their BEST side no matter what they have done or what they do to him. I have watched Josh grow tremendously in this house, personally and game.

In all honesty, I am blessed that he gravitated to me at the start of this game. Heíll be my big meatball for life.

Paul is my other misfit team member. Seeing him on Big Brother last season was impressive, but knowing him in the house this season is even more impressiveó mind blowing even. His heart is true and he always is uplifting even in hard situations.

Paul had a hard start here and it took him some time to see where I stood with him, but now that he sees that I have had his back from the beginning, loyalty will prevail. Paul has a special place in my heart in the game and outside.

Friendship, loyalty, and gratitude always. I canít wait to see what we can do in the next few weeks. Wouldnít it be wild???



OK, a little on the Houseguests! I am taken aback by Alexís daily prayer for my recovery. She is truly a tiger and a fire!!!

Matt is hilarious with Ravenóthey really only cook, clean, and clown around. Not a bad way to spend the summer.

Kevinís stories are the best but I have NO IDEA what is true in them and what is made up.

Jason is a close second with his stories. I canít believe he just found out about baby #2!! CONGRATS!!!

Mark is a sweet soul but made some really bad alliances to startÖYIKES!

Elena was (and is) so cool but those temper tantrums were intense. I really wish she would have stood by Mark.

Ramses was so LIT but completely spooked everyone out, but that was because he was working for the worst player of all time.



Jess, super fun girl but I told her exactly what would happen, and it DID. She deserved Juryónot Cody.

Jillian was really coming around and was a riot but I have to admit, I am glad she was evicted instead of me.

Dominique seemed to lose it all together and couldnít trust anyone even when she needed to. I donít think she ever trusted anyone a bit the entire time.

Cameron, sorry you left so soon but I LOVE that you almost beat Cody on the Battle Back.

And MeganĖwhat a disappointment.

Being HOH has really brought back some spirit to me! Since the break, I have been really trying to contribute as much as possible to the game for my team but in certain competitions I was literally a lump on a log! LOL! And, being a very physical and aggressive competitor it was very difficult to brush off the frustration of not competing in a game where I thought my strongest asset was my physical ability.

I will tell you that it isnít all positive, even when there is a clear agenda. Everyone knows this game creates a lot of distrust and paranoia and I am discovering it is even more when you are HOH.

There is no such thing as a smooth week in Big Brother and everyone wants a piece of the pie. Having people "chat" with you more in two days than they did in 60 days is transparent and annoying.

If you havenít connected with me by now, keep on walking because you will only dig your own grave if you try to start while I am HOH. No thanks!

A few thoughts before I run out of timeÖ just in case, so apologies if this is not so eloquent.

Mom & John, Dad, Kole & Chris, and Christopher, I love you all and canít wait to see all of you again! Weíll have a family get together SOON! Jenny, I know you are doing great!! Get yourself a ticket to come out for the weekend wrap of the show.

Thank you again to all of the Big Brother fans out there and my fans. I felt your love when I was granted the temptation which allowed me to make a HUGE move in the game to help get out one of the nastiest persons I have ever met and shift the power in the house.

Beyond that, I hope that I am making you all proud!

Stay Relentless!!!
Your all American Badass
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Old 09-06-2017, 01:35 pm
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Christmas HOH Blog 9/6/17

Hello Big Brother and Team Misfits Fans!!!

I just woke up so please excuse me if this entry is a little off. There’s not a lot of great sleep in the house or typing happening, so please keep up with my thoughts as they are normally like tennis balls in a dryer. It’s Day 76 and I am simply blown away at how this game has played out.

As HOH this week, my objective is to send Jason "Cowboy" to jury and that isn’t a light-hearted move. I have tried to work with him since the beginning not knowing he had voted for me not once, but twice.

Regardless, he was never willing to come around until recent and by then, it was simply too late. The pressure of the house is getting to people and although there aren’t major enemy targets, there are major friendships developing with the targets. This only compounds the difficulty of playing the social manipulation aspect of this game and evicting someone.

My Team Misfits are still locked in and we are closer than ever. There’s been some bumps this week due to the difficulty of wanting to get Jason out but we have worked though it and have been there for one another. Josh, Paul, and myself have literally watched every team have some sort of distrust between them (except for Raven and Matt but that’s a WHOLE different blog) and get split.

With only seven people in the house, and one going home, Team Misfits take up HALF THE HOUSE!!!!! We are all in a slight disbelief that our plans have been unfolding so well and we are exactly where we thought we could be from several weeks ago. TOP THREE is right around the corner and we can definitely take it home.

My only reservation is how top two will play out. I honestly have TRIED not to think about what will happen depending on who wins the last HOH Competition, but I have to. I am uncertain what the boys will do and who they would take, myself or the other teammate; but I know that it won’t be an easy decision.

I truly don’t want to know who they would take. For myself, I am trying to weigh in everything for the season to make a FAIR decision. If it comes down to my decision, it will honestly be the hardest decision I have had to make in this game. As much as I WANT to win that HOH to secure my spot for the Final Two, there is definitely a part of me that absolutely does NOT want that burden and dreading that potential.



Josh and Paul have been the BIGGEST blessing in my game and life. I have had a difficult time with my broken foot with trying to show people I am a capable competitor but also that I don’t want to be carried through this game. It’s been painful and frustrating to say the least and now that we are down to the final weeks of Big Brother, I am down to the final weeks of a broken foot.

Without both Josh and Paul, I am simply not sure where I would be. I could very well still be in the house, since EVERYONE else sees me as just a number and not a competitor, but it wouldn’t be the same at all without them here with me. They have become more than my Big Brother family... they have become my best friends.

NO MORE "PEPPY" today (aka the scooter)!!!!! No, I am not walking 100% YET but it is in reach!!! Today I can put a little weight on my heel and hobble around with crutches and yes, I am excited about that! It has been almost TEN WEEKS since I broke this dang foot and I have THREE MORE WEEKS before I am walking without a crutch at all.

I find it a little ironic that the first week that I can walk without any crutches will be the week Big Brother ends (I believe). I think about what wild potential that could have with possibly being in the top two…

To everyone at home, I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! Fran, mommy loves you so much and I cannot wait to put my face to your wrinkle face and get cuddles again. I hope you are having an amazing summer. I have a little bulldog from my HOH basket that looks just like you did when you were a baby.



Kathryn, although this is a few weeks early, CONGRATS!!!!!!! I hate that I will be missing your wedding but I am so excited for this time for you two. I hope that you have the best time of your life in your wedding and that Fran is the flower girl. I can’t wait to see pics and catch up on it when I get home.

Jenny and team—you guys are my Oz!!! Thank you so much for all of the work I know you have had to do in my absence. Because of you two I am able to focus on this game and play with confidence that everything that was set up before I left is getting done and done well!!! I know we have a lot of work to do when I get out so let’s set it up and hit the ground running!!!

Pops, I hope you are enjoying your new land and your motorcycle. I think that everyone in the house would love you and your stories. I try to tell some that you have told but they just aren’t the same as yours. If I make it to top two, I hope that you are able to fly out too!!

Mom andJohn, I hope the farm and the critters are doing well. I know you will have a ton of stories for me when I get out!!! I am doing what you taught me.. killing them with kindness (although sometimes it is VERY HARD) although my Christmas Bish comes out at times… I think I have done well being myself and keeping a smile on my face and a laughter in the room.



Kole and Chris, I might be WAY off here… but I have a feeling that you two might be expecting again!???? Maybe I just have baby fever because of Jason’s news but I have always had an idea whenever you two were expecting before. Either way, I miss you both and love you very much.

Christopher, my "little bro!" I hope you are doing awesome and enjoying that Cali life. My teammate Josh reminds me of you a lot, so it is almost like you are in the house here with me. I can’t wait to see you again. I have something special I want to send you when I get home!!!

OK BB Fans, I am OUT OF TIME!!!! THANK YOU to everyone that is watching and supporting #TEAMMISFITS here in the house. I am having the time of my life. Keep believing in your dreams, chase them with all your heart, and dare to amaze yourself. You never know what might happen.

Love,
Christmas
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